Fuckin Triple H. Stop cuttin promos fuckin everywhere ya nugget! Naebdy gies a fuck anymerr. He fuckin rambles on and on for ages again. Tellin us whit happened on RAW, mate I fuckin ken. I watched it. best for business, yackedy fuckin yack. Shut up bawbag. Triple H needs tae just stop it and AWWW FUCK. The Miz? c'mon tae buggery. This is no real man. Worst opening tae any show in the history of anythin. Fuckin jaysus. Make it stop.
They're talking about Miz n Ortons wee feud. NAECUNT GIVES A FUCK ABOUT EITHER OF THEM. Stop this before somedy gets hurt.
They show the footage of Miz gettin his shit ruined. That's no bad I spose. Could watch that aw day.
Trips yammers on about protecting Miz. Protect my sanity by shuttin yer fuckin mooth meht. Please.
Aw god he's still gaun, on aboot this Big Show n Miz shite. Then we get tae see Miz gettin battered again n it disnae seem so bad. I'm so confused.
They're still fuckin talking, fuck sake. Thats 10 minutes of an 100 minute show. A hale tenth of it on this kerry oan. Nut. Fuck off.
Its aw tae set up the announcement of Miz v Orton later. So fuck.
Del Rio vs R-Truth
Speaking of so fuck. Then we hud this pish again. R-Truth gets some decent gear in, but Del Rio wis always gonnae win, and he disnae dissapoint when he knocks truth oot wae a cheeky superkick. Del Rio pit him in the Cross armbreaker before departing anaw, cause he's a wank. His wanky reign of terror is ended by RVD, when he leathers him stupit wae a chair. Hits a mad running dropkick on the chair anaw. Whit a wee rascal he is.
RVD n Ricardo gie it laldy tae the crowd. Coolest cats in the the town int they.
Speakin of cool cats, err the Prime Time Players. Gien it that braw 'millyins ah dollas' patter tae a couple backstage cunts. A fun time ae it wis had by all.
Yasssssss. Cesaro time. We the people. The people GANTIN fur some Cesaro.
Real Americans vs The Prime Time Players
Swagger n Titus kick us aff wae some no bad power shit. Big shoulder blocks fae baith, Swagger gets Cesaro in ASAP but. Gid thinkin Jacky boy. They baith batter Titus daft, before Cesaro gets tae swingin! Titus is a big boay anaw and he spins him 22 fuckin times. CESARO IS THE GREATEST HUMAN BEING CURRENTLY LIVING OR EVEN DEAD. Titus is ruined meht. Young gets in but and sterts dominating Cesaro, hits the Northern Lights Suplex intae the pin. Cesaro gets back on top, but Titus saves his team fae loassin. Young hits Cesaro wae the Gutcheck, but he's no the legal man, n Swagger sneaks up n anklelocks him tae buggery. Silly boay Dardo.
BRAY WYATTS WRASSLIN! YASSSS
BRAY WYATTS WRASSLIN ZACK RYDER. QUINTUPLE YASS.
Rowan and Harper leather Ryder on the road in, before sendin him in tsae Bray. Ryder starts well, but Bray fuckin scuds him wae a flyin forearm. He then tries tae twist his hied aff his shooders wae a sare chinlock. Offt. Ruder hits the broski boot, n Bray kicks oot BEFORE the 1 count. Ryder goes for his finisher but Bray flings him tae fuck, before hitting Sister Abigail fur the win. Magic stuff. Solid as anythin. Follow the buzzards ya ratbags.
Dolph Ziggler vs Dean Ambrose (US Title Match)
Dolph earned this shot at the best efter beatin Ambrose cleaner than a CM Punk urine sample (wearin that joke oot lit Matt Hardy wore oot his fleshlight during his wee phase oan Meth) Ziggler calls oot the boayzies (big RVD and Kofi) for hauners incase The Shield get their nebs in.. Ziggler n Ambrose wis predictably braw. Hud a stocious semi fur it. Ziggler hits a big splash in the corner, before jabbin Deano tae next August. Then he clotheslines him tae the ootside, and thats when the hale 6 of them get intae it. Turns intae war, nae contest and yer man Triple Dick comes oot n makes it a 6 man tag.
Shield vs RVD, Kofi n Dolph
Ach this wis awrite. I wanted a full Dolph n Ambrose match but.Wee bitta braw RVD n Rollins action. High flyin n alright wae this guy. RVDs got a bandage on his elbow cause he elbow dropped an ashtray. Lovely stuff wae Dolph n Ambrose. Ziggler goes for the 10 elbow drops, but Dean gets up, and bursts Dolph a wee bit. Reigns gets in wae Dolph and runs him doon. Cause he's a stinkin big bully so he is. Ambrose gets back in. Classic tag strategy here. I don't hink Kofis even chucked a mental big kick in anger yet. Reigns hits a clumsy big slam hing on Dolph and the poor soul jist looks wrecked. Flung aboot lit wet washin. Dolph hits a big DDT fae naeplace but and all of a sudden we've got a ball game. Rollins gets in and halts his momentum but. Some man so ye urr Seth.
Dolph finally gets an opening and gets Kofi in. Kofi gets aw his mad dropkicks, n flying forearms in, ehn a wee boom drop. Mental high paced stuff. Kofi goes for Trouble in paradise, but Ambrose ducks, Kofi hits a crossbody, Rollins breaksup the pin, Reigns hits a spear, Dolph hits the fame-asser. And then I got dizzy. Kofi rolls up Ambrose, but Rollins hits yon heid kick finisher and Ambrose gets the pin on Kofi fur the win. I thought that wis fuckin magic so I did, a fully Ambrose v Ziggler match widda been brawer, but I wis fair intae that. Well done boayz.
The Greet Show backstage talkin tae Renee Young. Stop fuckin bubblin ya big bern. Christ sake. he cannae sleep at night, people caw him names. So fuck. yer a giant. Eat them aw. Or shut fuckin up ya big diddy ride. Daein some actin job but so he is. Fair play. Trips interrupts him and gets him aw upset by sayin he might fire him. Tells him he's gonnae find him a new job as a bouncer, or a baggage handler cause Triple H is a wank. A bad cunt. A prick. Big Show threatens tae knock Trips oot but he just gret his fuckin eyes oot again. Such a big jessie.
Cameron vs AJ Lee
Loving wee AJs work lately. Such a fesity wee hing so she is. Strong as anyhin. She's got big Tamina oot bodyguardin for yer which is a super smert move cause she's a big unit. AJ is aw err Cameron early on, but Cameron actually hits back wae a lovely wee high energy rally. Its no a bad wee match neer its no. Least it wisnae a Bella or anythin. AJ batters Cameron tae the ootside where big Tamina eyes her up, afore Aj caws her useless for ages. Tamina then knocks Naomis heid aff on the ootside, afore AJ hits the Shining Wizard for the win.
Paul Heyman baybeeeeee. Showin iz whit happened wae him n Punk at Night Of Champions. We ken aw aboot it Paul ya cheeky shite. Paul tells the crowd they're disappointed wae them cause they aw voted for Obama, and are indifferent tae this whole independence issue. CM Punk is gonnae lose everytime he comes up against Paul Heyman. Heyman is the top boy. Fall in line. Gid wee promo. Makes a right fool of Punk does he no. Says the crowd motivated Punk tae go after Heyman on RAW, and then Punk got his pan knocked in by Rywank and Curis Satchel. Tells them again, they're gonnae be Punks downfall wae them eggin him on. Dae we think CM Punk can beat Ryback he asks us? aye meht. Aye I very much do. Lovely wee intense promo, nae appearance fae either of his haufwitted cronies. nae bahd.
Santino (wae Khali n Hornswogg) vs Heath Slater (Wae 3MB)
Or "the ballad of 4 numptys, a sound ginger cunt, n Drew Mcintyre". Whit a pile of fuckin kerry oan this wis. A catalogue of nonsense. A cavaclade of keech. Baws. Total waste of fuckin time. Turn it sideywiys n stuck up yer fuckin dickhole. Pish match wae Heath n Santino, afore Heath goes up top but gets knocked baws first on tae the ropes. oot comes the cobra. Ehn Jinder Mahal plays a flute. Fuckin whit. The Cobra goes towards the music cause this is the fuckin twilight zone. Whit a pile of fuck. Khali plays suhin, then he chops Mcintyre, afore Hornswoggle flings a mugfi a pish in somedys eyes. This wis a pure fuckin Riddy man. Khali starts playin his instrument again and that wakes the Cobra up tae hit Heath wae The Cobra tae win. Fuck me man. Whit wis that aw aboot ataw?
Wee flashback tae an interview wae Triple H. Inviting The Rhodes brerrs tae RAW. Lets has this oot boayzies. Nae dramas.
Randy Orton vs The Miz
Ach this wis aboot as gid as ye'd expect. Neither of them are uptae much. Baith of them come oot heavy greased up tae fuck. Coupla oily sleazeballs. Yeughck.
Really wisnae much tae tell ye about this shit. heavy boring. Widnae huv it main eventing Superstars neer I widnae. Miz is gettin checked by a doctor, but he cannae fun a brain cell, so Orton cracks his skull in wae Reckless Abandon. On and on, tae Orton is DQ'd. Trips saves the day, by restarting the match and calling Orton a bad wee rat fur gettin intentionally DQ's Trips restarts it as a no DQ match jist tae make sure The Miz gets a full match here. Orton flings Miz err the announce desk, and then he just flings him everywhere. Aw err the hale place. He's a bad bastard so he is. He then hits the Carmel DDT aff the barricade to the flerr. Miz is oot the game. Aw is he gonnae dae that spot wae the chair again? yon heid in the chair and flying knee hing? Nah no this time mucker, jist a wee RKO for a giggle. A wee pinfall. A wee win. Who cares?
Overall a decent Smackdoon wis ruined by some stupit as fuck nansense. That whole 3MB v Khali, Santino n Hornswoggle wis jist shite, and the main event wis the same shit fae RAW 2 weeks ago. Always fun seein Miz get a doing, but still. When it boils down tae it, who cares? 5 Finlay Rolls oota 10.
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