This was terrible. Please don't watch this show. Please. I beg of you.
Sometimes I jokingly urge you not to watch things. Impact for example. I don't really mean that, theres always something good on Impact amongst the huge amount of awful promo work. This though? no.
Do not watch this show.If you did have the misfortune of seeing it, enter therapy right now. Never ever leave therapy either, these scars wont heal.
I love the way the Knockouts are booked on Impact usually too, and am a huge supporter of womens wrestling, but this show could have potentially done its reputation a lot of damage if anyone actually watched it.
Alyssa Flash vs Gail Kim
Second best match of the night here, and it was the very epitome of average. Short as well. Gail wins with the eat defeat. The crowd were dead here. And it would only get worse for them.
X Factoresque promos from two gutcheck contestants. They had a match on Impact not long ago. One of them is named Alei D Tapa and is apparently the barbarians niece. Announcing that makes her cry for some reason. Awful stuff.
Alei D Tapa vs Iveliesse
Alei D Tapa had perhaps the least imposing entrance I've ever seen. She looked petrified. Iveliessse was by far the better of the two, both in terms of wrestling ability and the level of comfort she had just being there, (also very nice to look at, but that's irrelevant to the match. Entirely relevant to your next google image search though). Tapa goes over with a modified spinebuster. A real shame because she wasn't very good at all.
At this point I should say the main event is a gauntlet between the winners of all these matches. I despise gauntlet matches so hard it would make your eyes water, so I was already looking forward to the main even with glee. Incredibly depressing glee.
Tara vs Mia Yim
This was passable at best. Yim hits a nice German Suplex towards the end but apart from that her work was a bit boring to me. Tara has always been excellent, but she was accompanied to the ring by that waste of air Jesse Godderz so that soured me slightly to her. Passable match, but no more than that. Tara advanced with the Widows Peak after Jesse distracted Mia.
Then we had a 10 minute segment of still bikini shots form the website. Seriously, just knockouts in bikinis. Still shots of this. For 10 minutes. Awful. Imagine if they tried this with all male wrestlers? imagine the outrage? Its a good thing that not many people gave this the time of day, because a segment like that is exactly whats wrong with TNA these days in a nutshell. When presented with a chance to show Womens Wrestling in the best possible light by running a televised show exclusively for the Knockouts, they fill up time with this garbage. If I wasn't reviewing it for you fine people, that the point where I'd have given up on it.
Brooke Tessmacher vs Santana
This happened. It was terrible. Brooke won with a horribly botched faceplant type of move. Not good. So not good, you could almost call it bad. My word of choice would be "shite".
ODB vs Trinity
Best match of the night, I may be slightly biased because I think ODB is a fine specimen, but it was pretty good. Quite easy to tell these were both women who set out to be pro wrestlers, as opposed to models who were persuaded to do it by creepy old men/talent scouts. ODB hits a bronco buster in the breast area (breasto buster?), before getting the win with the Bam.
Taryn Terrell vs Jackie Moore
Awful match, but a very pleasant surprise to see Jackie go over. With a nondescript dropkick also. Because nothing about this show made any sense.
Hannah Blossom v Taler Hendrix vs Sojo
Dearie me. I will give this match some credit, it was at least watchable, but for all the wrong reasons mostly. Just so messy. Blossom is caught in a half crab from Sojo and a chinlock from Hendrix at the same time but fights out. Sojo and Taler scream at each other for a while, before Hannah hits Taler with a perfect big boot to the face for the win.
Velvet Sky vs Jillian Hall
Nice to see Jillian Hall. She was terrible in WWE, but at least mildly interesting. She made enough of a mark for me to know I thought she was awful so that's not a bad thing right? Who knows. This was dire though. Womens wrestling is just so much better than this. I'm going to see an all Womens promotion live on Sunday and I guarantee everything I see will be better than this. Velvet wins with the worst named finisher in wrestling today.In yo face. Whats in my face I hear you ask? my palm.
Mickie James vs Serena
This was ok actually. I forgot about this earlier, so I'd say this is probably the second best match of the night. Perhaps pushing the ODB match for the best. Mickie went over after a long exchange of right hands, followed by a top rope lou thesz press, and finally a swinging DDT. Upon reflection I'd actually say this was the match of the night considering the time it got, ad even then. It wasn't anything you HAD to see.
The Winners of all the previous matches in a Gauntlet Battle Royal
This isn't a main event. It isn't anything. Awful. Why not book 3 or 4 of your top knockouts in a ladder match or something? lets have a bit of cohesion. Gauntlet matches are so terrible and messy, I just can't bring myself to get engaged. I should specify, gauntlet matches like this, with everyone coming in separately, and it being wrestled under battle royal rules, I just cant suffer it. This was terrible to watch. So disjointed so I'm going to skip to the finish rather than describing the atrocities which took place before it. It comes down to Mickie James and Gail Kim. Gail Kim pretends to be inured, and is supposedly going to be carried to the back, but before she leaves the ring, Mickie turns her back and Gail rolls her up for the win.
The end.
This was awful. Just nonsense filler from start to finish, and aside from 3 passable matches it was a poor representation of the talent level which exists in Women's Wrestling today.
Also, Taz is the worst commentator in wrestling right now,. A misogynistic halfwit.
Please never watch this show. It was not good.
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