I'd love tae tell ye this will be a poignant moment for me personally, as ICW returns to its spiritual home of Maryhill for one night only. I'd love tae tell ye a tale of how me, the boayz, and an 8 deck of Tennents Super used tae be a single entity fur these ICW nights. "The Glory Days!" I'd have called them. I'm a truthful cunt though, and I'll be totally honest wae ye, I only started gaun tae ICW last August at Super Smokin Thunderbowl, and the last time I wis even in Maryhill wis for a Partick Thistle v Celtic game when I wis 5. Mighta passed through it since, but that wis the last time I dwelled long enough tae take in the scenery. Like every other ICW event I've attended, I anticipate optimum levels of brawness. There are folk involved from ICWs past that I don't know much about, so please excuse my rampant ignorance as we proceed tae dae some previewing. It's no my fault, I was scudded on the napper wae many hardback books as a child.
Team Smiddy
Grado, Solar and DCT
vs
Team Tommy
Mike Musso, Euan G Mackie and Lewis Girvan
This should be cracking entertainment for a few reasons. Firstly, Grado vs Lewis Girvan at Flava In Yer Ear was a fuckin riot, so it'll be smashin tae see them go at it again. Euan G Mackie is one of the most peculiar men on...well earth probably. I wis gonnae say "In Scottish Wrestling" but I don't think that quite covers the weird and wonderful ways of the Mackie. DCT I know is a trained wrestler, but I've yet to see him wrestle in person, however he does have a fantastic mustache, so that's never a negative when it comes to entertaining the masses. Mike Musso wis apparently one of the ICW originals, before leaving this wild n crazy life for a career as a pro skateboarder, or a monk or suhin.
Perhaps the most intriguing element of the match is the battle between the two team captains. Current ICW MC.. The very professional and often unfairly ridiculed Simon Cassidy (although mate, its fuckin roastin at ICW aw the time, ye could mibbe lose the suit jaicket eh..we'll no tell anyone, honest) and one of his predecessors MC Thrush (Thrush is defined in the dictionary as "Irritation of the fanny" but in his case it seems to be irritation by the fanny ) I really have no idea if MC Thr...I mean Tommy is as bad as folk make out, I suppose that'll be one of many new experiences I'm exposed tae this Saturday. Anyway, as for a prediction, theres nae way Smiddy and the boys are losing this. I reckon a wee medley of finishers from aw 3 will bring it tae an end, culminating in the wee boot and/or F5.
Tag Team Titles
NAK vs Team CK
Aw due respect tae Bieber and Kane, but there's nae chance in hell that they'll take the belts. Not a fuckin hope. They got so badly stomped out at Dave's No Here Man, they hud tae cancel a job modelling stone-wash denims fur the Matalan Catalogue the next day. I fully expect the NAK tae dominate, and head tae Fear and Loathing looking strong for a match involving either The Buckys, The SDS or perhaps both. NAK to win, in a match that'll be as close to a squash match as yer likely tae see at ICW. Team CK will be a factor in the tag division soon enough but, too talented not tae be, It just willnae be on Saturday.
Jack Jester vs Joe Coffey
Aye. This'll dae just nicely. With Joe Coffey seemingly on a crusade to clean up ICW, and stop aw the bloodshed, it makes sense that he's put up against one of the main...eh...shedders of blood, in Jack Jester. I also love the booking, as it sets up Joe Coffey for a cracking singles push no matter how the match ends up, with Jester the next challenger for the ICW belt. Its one of those matches that never really occurred to ye as a possibility, but now that its on the horizon, yer thinkin "wonder why that never occurred tae me?" Its probably aw the drinkin, and drugs and the sittin in front of the tele for 5 or 10 hours a day. Yer brains fucked. Aye...I reckon Jester will come out on top, unless this is the night where the Save Pro Wrestling Movement really comes into its own. With Mark Coffey going for the Zero-G belt on this card anaw, it may well be.
James Scott and Wolfgang both issue open challenges to any former ICW Wrestler/
Fuckin love this so I dae. The dream matches for me would be Lionheart and Red Lightning returning to face either one of them. For me Scott vs Lionheart and Wolfy vs Red would be the best matches, but either way I widnae be arsed. Other possibilities are Rob Cage, who hasn't been booked on an ICW card for well over a year now, and maybe even a return for William Grange after his baffling sare finger kop out when he was booked to wrestle Grado. (no gettin on his case or that, but christ...if yer booked against Grado in front of the ICW crowd, only huvin one or more severed limbs should stop ye wrasslin) Aside fae that I'm no sure. Would be wonderful tae see big Drew back, but he's probably booked tae lose a Superstars match that night or something (in related news...mon hame Drew mate)
Would be fitting for Red to make his return here especially, as he's a Maryhill boay and for me still has a lot to offer the roster. The best on the mic in Scotland and a handy wrestler, get him back in the mix I say. A proper match between him and Whippy for the belt would be braw, providing Whippy holds on to it at Fear and Loathing.
Mikey Whiplash vs Mark Coffey (Zero-G title Match)
These two had a stoater of a match at the first show I went to, and it was genuinely one of the main reasons for me deciding to go to the next show. Along wae Dar vs Wolfgang, it was of a higher standard of wrestling than I was expecting (I went tae the show knowing literally nothing about Scottish Wrestling btw, other than the fact Lionheart was on the card and he once wrestled Jeff Jarrett...I know better now) Both have gone fae strength to strength since then, with Whippy now the main guy in the company, and Mark Coffey having gone to Japan to wrestle for 5 months before returning to defeat El Ligero and work two of the best tag matches I've seen in a long time against Fight Club, and the fatal 4 way at Dave's Not Here Man. I've no idea what tae expect in terms of the outcome here. Makes a lot of sense of Mark Coffey to take the belt, as it wid strengthen the Save Pro Wrestling stable, but how does it happen without making Whippy look weak? Dae we make use of the rest of SPW for interference? Does Whippy join up wae them and voluntarily drop the belt to his new stable mate? the second one makes sense as they seem tae fit in wae Whippys ideals as tae what wrestling is aw about, but I cannae see Joe surrendering his spot as the leader so easily, so i reckon either Mark will take the belt wae the help of outside interference, or Whippy will retain.
Overall, love the look of the card. Could see a wee surprise match thrown in there anaw, but the confirmed matches and the prospect of a couple of auld favourites retuning has me giddy so it does. I also genuinely hope and pray that I see somedy get hit by a PlayStation, or an auld Memory pack aff an N64 control pad. If yer billing as show as a "return to the epicenter of insanity" somedy better get scudded wae somethin daft.
Maryhill ya sexy wee midden ye, brace yersell tae be entered.
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