Night Of Champions has always been a favourite of mine, purely cause title matches are a right gid time int they? Only thing better than title matches are ladder matches, then ye realise maist Ladder Matches ARE Title Matches and aw of a sudden yer drappin loads aw err this fair toon.
This years Night Of Champions is a different story though, as it disnae even huv aw the belts being defended. Know whit PPV did huv that but? Payback. Riddle me that why don't ye. That's like Hell in a Cell huvin a cheeky wee Royal Rumble, or King of The Ring huvin a candlestick on a pole match or I don't fuckin know....matches!
Rollins and Reigns vs The Winners of yon pre-show match. (Tag Belts)
I'm gonnae go against my other preview efter The Usos gied Dolph hauners on Smackdown and say that this will be The Usos vs The Shield. I'm also gonnae allow mysell to expect the unexpected so I'll say the The Usos are finally gonnae take the belts, and hopefully feud wae Cesaro and Swagger fur them until forever.
AJ vs Natalya vs Naomi vs Brie Bella (Divas Strap)
Mare like Brie Smella. This can run up my humph so it kin. Unless AJ retains or ma beautiful wee Nattie takes the belt. AJ deserves tae retain but. She's been top class of late. Like Carmel Jacob if she wis less of a ride. I reckon AJ will retain.
Dolph Ziggler vs Dean Ambrose (US Title)
This will be the match of the night so it will team. yer man Ambrose is gonnae hit Dolph wae aw that stiff technical wrasslin, and Dolphs gonnae sell it like his hoose is about tae be re-possessed. If ye've no seen Smackdown, ye really should. Dolph pits on a 25 min selling clinic. Its smashin. As will this be. Ambrose will go over clean as a fuckin whistle tae, cause that's good parenting. Right Bing Cosby?
Thats right Peter.
CM Punk vs Curtis Axel and Paul E Heyman
Curtis Axel is a good wrestler mate. So shut up about him on the mic fuck sake! Psycho Sid tried him wae that patter, and he made fun of Sid snappin his leg in 2. He clearly gies not a fuck of this ain safety, cause Sid might be auld but he's still 7 feet tall ya daft bastard. He will cover that pubey beard in superglue and stick ye up the tap of the Wallace Monument. Aye. Punk will dispose of Mr Pishfect in 10 minutes, before knocking the living shite oota Heyman. It'll be like a beautiful tragedy. Ye'll no be able tae take yer eyes aff it. Then big Luke Gallows will come doon and join the perty, before Brock Lesnar shows up in a Ford Focus and parks up tae watch it aw unfold. Quietly muttering "the transmission on this hing is burst" and sighing.
Del Rio vs RVD (World Heavyweight Shite-le Match
Its no either of these cunts title tae even win. Its Dolphs and they can baith eat the muck aff a jakeys welly. RVD will win and gie the WH Title a much needed 42 year old, stoned as fuck shot in the arm. While Big E Langston sits in the hoose pickin cherries oot his erse.
Daniel Bryan vs Randy Orton (The Big Prize)
Its been a tough day for me personally. I'd like tae sit in the shower for hours on end and just let the boo hoos out but the boo hoos will be no more if Daniel Bryan becomes the WWE Champion again. A distant memory. More like boo whos? hahahaha. Oh aye. Lovely. Its no gonnae happen the night but, even though it would be perfect. Bryan wins it the night, holds it until Mania. Punk wins the Rumble. Punk vs Bryan Main Events WM 30. Austin vs Cena on the bill anaw. aye I said it. Austin vs Cena. Ye no happy? come at me brah. Last guy that tried it got his chain took aff him, and contact details were exchanged so i could send a super angry email. Alternatively Austin will continue daein braw podcasts, and Cena will wrestle George The Animal Steele. Its a tough yin tae call.
Despite the lack of hype, I think Night Of Champions will surprise us all and turn oot tae be a pretty gid wee show. Kinda show ye wantae pat on the heid and tell it its daein fine.
If it disnae happen the night, do not despair my love, Daniel Bryan will have his furry faced day in the sun.
Fin.
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