I missed the first 15 minutes of Impact this week due to internet issues, but I'm reliably informed it went down like this (I may or may not be putting my own slant on this)
Taz can't get in the building because Jeremy Bore-ash is cutting a promo about August. Frustrated, he retreats to a local bar, where he finds The Repo Man. The Repo Man assures him that for a price, he can help Taz "re-claim" his rightful spot at the announce desk, and the segment ends there, surely to be concluded on a future show (maybe in 2-3 months considering Impacts usual dedication to keeping storylines fresh and relevant)
Really though, the night begins properly with Austin Aries cutting a promo. He congratulates Chris Sabin for becoming TNA Champion, and builds up his match with AJ Styles later in the night. It's all going along nicely, before Bobby Roode emerges to wreck the party. Bobby hasn't been a happy man of late, as he sits at 0 points in the BFG series, and he displays this unhappiness by repeatedly spitting in Aries' face. So much so that Aries asks if he would like to be called the Spit Factor instead of the It Factor. Witty line Austin my man, considering you were just being spat on repeatedly, well done for fighting through the rage to come up with it.
Bobby Roode vs Hernandez (BFG Series Match)
Who better than Hernandez for Roode to end his losing streak against? He attacks Hernandez on his way up the ramp, because he's clearly in a "win at all costs" type of mindset. So much so that to actually get the win, he drives a steak knife through Hernandez' heart and gets the pin (I jest, he actually just smashed a beer bottle over his head) picking up his first 7 points in the BFG series. Leaving hm only about 60 points behind Magnus.
Kazarian is tweeting backstage.A very good wrestler is the chosen tweeter for the first hour. Jay Bradley has a wrestling match coming up next. Logic be damned.
Before that we have a hilarious promo between Eric Young and Joseph Park. Eric Young should be on the show every week in some capacity. No doubt about it. Just a very naturally funny man. He explains to Park that he has been going crazy anytime he spills blood lately, and its costing him matches to he gives him a mask to wear for his match with Jay Bradley. I don't know about a mask, but I certainly find myself wishing I had a blindfold so I didn't have to be exposed to the match myself.
Before it we have a Chris Sabin and Manik Promo. Despite Manik being revealed as TJ Perkins a few weeks ago, we only get to see the back of his head for some reason. Sabin tells Mank that they are similar in 'heart'. The promo is forced, and gives further credibility to the theory that Sabin just cant carry the company as champion, as great as he is in the ring. He will face Manik in a match later that night.
Joseph Park vs Jay Bradley
I'm sorry Jay, but what do you do? What's your hook? He can't wrestle, cut promos, or hold my interest for any longer than 2 seconds, so how the hell did this happen? I know they have to make the Gutcheck appear like its a serious thing, but why not do that by employing one of the wrestlers with real talent who were up for it, as opposed to giving these idiot posers TV time. Anyway, Park wins with the Black Hole Slam and the pain was finally over. No really though, it was ok. As Jay Bradley matches go, it was really....ah who am I kidding, it was terrible. He's the worst. I hated my eyes for seeing it. Park moves to -3 in the BFG series, after dropping to -10 with his recent loss by DQ.
MEM talking backstage. They came together to do 2 things. Remove Bully Ray as Champion, and get rid of the Aces and Eights. Rampage wants to fight. This promo happened last week. Exactly like this. I'm certain of it.
Chris Sabin vs Manik
Superb match. Lots of fast paced action, with flips and twists galore. It felt like a great X Division match, and not a match which involved the TNA Heavyweight Champ. Manik does an impressive headstand on the ropes early in the match too. The whole thing was a feast for the eyes. Sabin hit a superplex, which is followed by a flurry of vicious chops from both, before Sabin brings this enthralling contest to an end with a picture perfect Hail Sabin.
Then Bully Ray emerges from a puddle of irrelevance to attack Sabin before Sabin fights him off. Extending this feud by another month is awful booking if you ask me. Sabins role as champ should be to legitimize the belt with great matches. He wont have the chance to do that against Bully.
James Storm is tweeting the second hour of Impact. I don't follow him, but I hope he was legitimately drunk and brutally honest. I might check that later actually.
Next is a backstage segment between Bad Influence as its announced they'll go one-on-one in the BFG series next week. The tone of it seems to be leaning towards them splitting up, which would be bordering on tragic, but would be in-keeping with the decision making process TNA seem to follow these days. Dont do it! for the love of god please dont! Bad Influence are amongst the few things keeping me sane watching Impact every week. Without them, all that remains is Aries, Roode, the Knockouts and trying to work out if Jeremy Borash has eyes.
ODB vs Gail Kim
This was a decent match. Nice to see ODB back wrasslin' again, and she looked as good as ever, catching Gail with a particularly nice overhead throw. They end up brawling on the outside to a double countout, and I doubt this is the last we'll be seeing of this feud.
AJ Styles talking about his match with Aries later. Looked a touch constipated. Angsty Styles is not my favourite, but his match later was sure to be good.
Before that we got the thing we're always dreading, a Hogan sighting. Not even the fallen legend who is bringing disgrace to his name every week, it was the half witted daughter who simply brings nothing to the table. No acting talent, no wrestling ability/relevance and no place being there in the first place. Bully says something to her about never getting a divorce, and she says something about his match with Sabin and its all just white noise and brain pain because none of it is relevant to anything. This is not wrestling. Stop it now. Before its too late.
AJ Styles vs Austin Aries (BFG Series Match)
Can we just pretend the last part of the show didnt happen? please?
This was how the show should have ended. An engrossing match from start to finish, with some eye popping spots. Particularly a backdrop Styles took off the stage on to the floor, where the back of his head hit the stage on the way down. Aries also caught him with a German Suplex which planted him on his neck. A lot of good high flying spots aside from that, and just an all round excellent match. Up there with some of the best matches of this year (I still have Cesaro vs Bryan edging it, but its the best of the rest probably) Styles has the calf killer locked in, but Aries fights out and hits the brainbuster for a near fall. He then attempts to put Styles away with the 450 splash, but AJ gets the knees up. Styles nails the Pele kick, and as both men are down, they both put an arm over each other. Aries gets a shoulder up at 2, but Styles apparently does not, and Aries picks up the 7 BFG series points. Excellent match. Why did the last 10 minutes have to happen?
Sigh. Out come MEM again. Again we hear that they came together to stop Aces and Eights, and again we hear they came together to take the belt from Bully (counting that as a job done even though it wasn't one of their members who won it) and then Aces and Eights come out, and accept the repeated challenges of a fight between the two groups. Hallelujah. At some point while Mr Anderson is speaking, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco are seen trading pokemon cards and sharing a clove cigarette. Then they all have a punch up before the big August 1 reveal is upon is, and its.....wait for it......
TITO SANTANA!
Thats right, star of the 80s and jobber of the early 90s. Tito Santana is the man to lead TNA into a new era. He looks about 20 years younger and in great shape, but it was definitely him...no doubt...
*clears throat*
It has just been whispered into my ear that it was infact Tito Ortiz and not Tito Santana. I am reliably informed he is an MMA fighter. You can understand my confusion as I am not an MMA fan (I have nothing against it though, just not my thing) and I tuned into Impact thinking it was a professional wrestling show. My bad.I wont make that mistake again.
Overall Impact had one very good match, and one superb match so as a wrestling fan I felt it was worth my time alone, but the Ortiz reveal and pretty much most of everything else once again drags it down. It gets a solid 5 out of 10 purely out of respect for the Aries vs AJ match alone.
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