See when yer sittin at hauf past 9 on a Thursday mornin, reviewing an episode of Superstars that aired about a week earlier, ye really begin tae question yersell. Is this healthy behaviour? I wis initially asked tae review it fur the team of Americans I review IMPACT fur but I wis let off the hook cause somedy else wis on the case already on the case, so why did this still need written? I cannae really decipher that fur ye chief, so I'll just fire in and write it anyway eh. Hope yer morning is gaun gid so far, mine's no bad. Gonnae make mysell a wee bovril, cause I just feel lit a hot drink, and tea isnae fur me.
Jinder Mahal vs The Great Khali
Superstars must be over as fuck in India man. Nae other reason for this shanner of a match-up to ever become televised reality. Think aboot it, Shaun Micheals retired having never wrestled Punk or Daniel Bryan on TV. Ric Flair retired without ever having wrestled Dean Ambrose. Yoshi Tatsu wis released without ever having wrestled anyone, but this fuckin nightmare was allowed to happen? The camera work is weird anaw. Feels like I'm haudin the camera, cept I'm really really steamin and I keep gettin sidetracked by a pound coin lyin next tae my feet. Cannae bend doon n get it, but I'm sorta leanin towards it. Markin my territory. Also Khali won wae the punjabi plunge.
Next up was a RAW recap, which is mainly whit Superstars is. A RAW recap wae two shite matches. I reviewed RAW already, so I'll gie ye somethin else instead...
Gimmick Comparisant - Smash fae Demolition/The Repo Man
How many of ye didnae know that wis the same guy before I said that? eh? Mind blower, amiright? whiddye mean ye knew? away n dont gies yer flannel mate. Thats flannel so it is. Anyway, I preferred the Smash fae Demolition gimmick, cause The Repo Man just didnae have any practical use in wrestlin really. Unless yer repossesin a belt or suhin, it disnae matter meht. its gid that they tried to re-package him but. Wid have been easy to toss him on the scrapheap.
The Prime Time Players vs Zachary Ryder and Justin Gabriel
The PTP are the oddest tag team in wrasslin history. Between them, as singles wrasslers they have wrestled Kane, John Cena, CM Punk, RVD, Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler recently, yet as a duo they are probably only ahead of Tons Of Spunk in terms of gettin a tag team push. Its mental. I enjoy the PTP, cause they're quite amusing, but I rate neither of them in the ring. Titus especially, totally bursts my coupon so he does, when he does that wrasslin thing. This match was awrite but, Gabriels quite good and Ryder appears to have reverted tae a gimmick where his hair isnae gelled towards the sky. The PTP win after Titus hits the "clash of the Titus" which is just a hilarious name for a finisher. He also executes it quite well, making it better than anythin else I've ever seen fae him wrasslin wise. Well played Titus ma man.
Another RAW recap, this time its yon 6 man tag match fae last week between The Shield, and Cena/Orton/Bryan. I reviewed this already, so instead we'll have round 2 of............
Gimmick Comparisant - Skip Sheffield/Ryback
Skip Sheffield wis the least important, maist jobberish member of the NEXUS that wisnae called Michael Tarver. How does that become a cunt that's had feuds for the WWE belt? before he's even won any mid level belts or achieved anything of note? Its madness. I don't blame Skipback for that, but I reserve the right tae rip the utter cunt oot his horrendous promos, and his solid but boring in-ring work. He's the only cunt wae his build that cannae hit a German Suplex. Either he cannae dae them, or he just disnae but either way, thats not on. If he ever gets the belt without having hit a German Suplex, I gie up so I dae.
Superstars is pointless. WWE should either stop making it, or at least get a wee pool of their gid wrasslers who never appear on other shows, and have them aw wrassle each other. Jinder Mahal vs Khali just isnae daein anyone any favours. I gie it a right generous 3 backbreakers outta 15.
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