50 minutes tae it starts eh? I can mibbe make this awrite wae that sorta time. Or I could list 26 things I hope tae see fae tonights RAW, with each one attached tae a letter of the alphabet. Aye. The second wan. We'll dae the second one.
A - Antonio Cesaro
B - Billy Gunn taking a clothesine fae hell aff JBL, and daein a frontflip right intae Khalis trooser pocket.
C - COLT CABANA
D - Daniel Bryan being given a WWE Title shot TONIGHT.
E - E for Big E. The da.
F - Faaaaaaaandaaaaaaaaangooooooo.
G - Goldust.
H - Heidenreich joins Cole on commentary. Sticks his wet index finger in Coles ear.
I - Intercontinental Title is vacated cause Axel burst baith hips when he wis shaggin yer Uncle.
J - Jericho
K - K-Kwik. R-Truth. Whitever. He's shite.
L - Ladders. Aw The ladders.
M - Millyins ah dollas.
N - Nae Triple H. Not a hint. Nae extra ceiling space required fur that fuckin beak. He's no err.
O - Orton forgets how tae tie his shoelaces. Triple H refuses tae teach him. "He must walk alone"
P - Percy Watson.
Q - Question time wae CM Punk. He answers audience queries, and caws them cunts when they're being cunts.
R - Rick Martel returns n tells Fandango he isnae flamboyant enough.
S - Shango. Papa fuckin Shango.
T - THREE AINT ENOUGH MAN I NEED FIVE.
U - Under qualified paramedic fails tae save Del Rio's tongue when he gets it stuck tae an Ice Lolly. Nae mare promos.
V - Vampiro returns and eats The Miz.
W - World Heavyweight Champion John Cena is attacked by a bear. Sandow cashes in his MITB title shot tae become the new champ.
X - XXX - Aksana in the buff or suhin. I dunno, X wis a hard yin.
Y - Yip Yip. What it do. Ryback reverts back tae Skip Sheffield n jobs tae Zack Ryder.
Z - Zeb producing evidence that the wee bull wis kidnapped, and Los Matadores get deported.
Enjoy RAW. Feel free tae wreck yer hoose if any of the 26 hings above don't actually happen tonight.
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