TNA Bound For Glory Review

It's important to judge every show on its merits I feel. Too often you can allow pre-conceived notions of how a show is going to pan out affect the way you see it at the time. I looked at the Bound For Glory card and though "oh good, I probably wont want to throw myself off a bridge at any point" so that was a positive. I've also thought some recent stuff on Impact has shown promise for the future, and that the card for BFG was a potential momentum builder. If it was executed correctly that is.

It was not executed correctly.

In fact of all the wildly confusing, borderline chaotic shows TNA have put on this year, it may have been the worst of the lot. As always there was some decent wrestling, but it was in amongst a stramash of flabbergasting finishes and plain old confusion. If you are running your biggest show of the year, I'd say you should expect at least a few of the finishes to get a pop from the crowd. NOTHING here aside from the main event got anything from the crowd. Most of the time because they couldn't be sure if that match was actually over.

There was a pre-show gauntlet match to determine who would face Storm and Gunner for the tag belts. I didn't see it, and Bad Influence didn't win it so I wont ever be seeing it. Bad Influence are the only legit tag team in TNA right now which is incredibly sad considering the fact that their tag division was at one time the envy of pro wrestling. It was the Bro-Mans who won it, so they'd be in the match later in the night. Feel free to allow a small part of your soul to die upon hearing that information. The part that allows you to see the best your fellow man. You wont be needing it anymore.

Sorry, that was a wee bit dark eh? haven't even started on the show yet. I may not make it to the end.

Manik vs Chris Sabin vs Samoa Joe vs Jeff Hardy vs Austin Aries (Ultimate X Match for the X Division Title)

On paper this seemed like it would be something special. 5 guys perfectly suited to the madness that is the Ultimate X match, yet if you allow yourself to think about it, this is crazy booking. Manik is performing at a level which deserves better than him having to defend his belt against 4 former World Champions, and the fact that the match involved 4 former world champions just shows how scatty the booking has become. They literally had nothing else for Samoa Joe and added him in at the last minute. Aries has been the most consistent performer in the company all year and they had nothing for him either. This shouldn't happen. Not when a tag wrestler holds your main belt, and the man challenging him has been involved in an angle with his boss which has led to promo work which I am currently receiving electric shock therapy to eradicate from my system. Off on a tangent there eh? I think I'm just trying to deflect from the awfulness I had to witness here, but I shall procrastinate no longer.
Joe starts out strong with some stiff jabs and kicks to Sabin. Aries goes for the quick win but is pulled down from the overhead ropes and lands fairly awkwardly, but he's ok. Hardy then hits that move where it looks like a powerbomb, but he flips his opponent over his head. Not entirely sure what its called, so I shall christen it the "Charismatic Enigma-ey Flip Overhead Powerbomb Suplex" or "Hardybomb" for short.
Hardy is on the outside with a ladder leaning on him for some reason and Joe suicide dives on to Hardy and the ladder. Quite honestly, as I write this now, I cant think of a moment I enjoyed more than that spot, and at the time I didn't really rate it. That tells you all you need to know about the rest of the show. Manik goes for the belt but Joe pulls him down and boots his head clean off. Sabin dropkicks Joe. Hardy hits a high risk move on Sabin and soon after that everyone is on the overhead ropes going for the belt but they all fall down. Spike Dudley cashes in his X Divison in the bank briefcase and wins the belt. End of story.
Well that would have been a better finish than the real one anyway, as Sabin distracts Jeff Hardy by throwing his girlfriend at him, before he sneaks up a ladder and takes the belt. Ladders are fair game in Ultimate X matches now because NOTHING IS ALLOWED TO MAKE SENSE ANYMORE.

Instead of a potential MOTN, we got 4 potential main eventers stuck in the opening match, which was shamefully given just 12 minutes and had a finish that made you want to cannonball into an empty pool. Great start.

Storm and Gunner vs The Bro-Mans (TNA Tag Title Match)

When you have a tag title match, and 3 out of the 4 men involved cant wrestle to save themselves, what do you have really? Anything? What you have is a bit of a mess, although I'm maybe being harsh on Robbie E by saying he cant wrestle. His gimmick is awful, but he can go. Anytime he was in there with Storm it was passable, and Storm his a nice Atomic Drop, Superkick to the stomach, and Neckbreaker combination. Then it rolled on for a while, and a man named Mr Olympus, or Atlantis or some shit was there with the bro mans. I don't know who this dude is. Gunner hits a powerbomb, before lifting Robbie E again ans this time hitting a double team move with Storm where Gunner goes for the powerbomb but Storm catches the opponent on the way down with the backstabber. That seemed to be what would get the job done, but shenanigans ensued which allowed Robbie E to inexplicably pin Storm to give the Bro-Mans the tag belts.

I doubt anyone will agree, but for me this made the most sense out of anything which went on at BFG. I'd rather it wasn't the Bro-Mans but someone had to take the belts off Storm and Gunner. For me they are an awkward fit as a tag team and if anything they should be feuding against each other. Gunner is pretty awful right now. Greener than Garret Bishoff with wearing a jacket made outta lettuce. Maybe working against Storm might help him improve. Either way, its a good thing that they no longer have the tag belts and as much as I don't like the Bro-Mans, their reign will at least draw some heat. Heat is better than no one giving a shit.

Sting is out to induct Angle into the Hall of Fame. Angle tells Sting he is not worthy of being placed in the same bracket as him and declines the induction until he feels he has earned it. This is the kind of thing that would have been special has it been off the cuff, but unfortunately it wasn't and for me came off as forced. Basically a way of acknowledging Angles recent stint in rehab without properly mentioning it.

Ethan Carter the 3rd getting a pep talk from Auntie Dixie. That's the angle here eh? He's a nephew, or a one eyes cousin, or something.

ODB vs Gail Kim vs Brooke Tessmacher (Knockouts Title Match)

As a match this wasn't terrible. It never could be with ODB and Gail involved, and Brooke held her own, but another atrocious finish I thought. Brooke delivers some vicious kicks on ODB in the corner, before ODB hits the Bronco Buster. Gail locks in a Figure 4 on the ringpost on Brooke. ODB looks headed for the win, after she shoulder blocks both Gail and Brooke, before getting them both up for what seemed to be a Double BAM. Brooke fights out though, so ODB just hits BAM on Gail and lands her on top of Brooke. The Lei'D Tapa emerges, cause we're really pushing this charisma vacuum of a woman. ODB goes up the ramp to meet her despite the fact that shes a 3 count away from retaining her belt, then she can do whatever she pleases. Nah, it has to happen now. Tapa cleans her out before approaching the ring and Brooke inexplicably dives at her. Like anyone who has ever tried to hit a crossbody on Mark Henry, this is not a good idea. You will be caught. And you will be hit with a slightly botched powerbomb. Gail covers Brooke to win the title and we discover that its all been a ruse! Tapa was employed by Gail all along and no one cared or ever will care. Just because ODB and Gail Kim are the only legit knockouts left doesn't mean you should have them pass the belt to each other every few months and while I'm at it, where in the name of Christ is the TV Title? Abyss even made an appearance at this show to help Eric Young when he was attacked by Bad Influence, so if we were having him on the show, why didn't he defend the belt? Or at least show us that he hasn't sold the plates? Nothing makes sense anymore. It keeps me up at night.

Bro-Mans backstage making noise. It was noisy. A noisier noise than I'm used to. Sore on the ears.

Roode with a backstage promo. Saying how much better he is than Angle and how he made him tap. I had extremely high hopes for this match, and that probably wasn't a good thing considering how the rest of the show had gone, because it almost had to be perfect.

Bobby Roode vs Kurt Angle

Unfortunately it wasn't perfect, but it was the only thing about this show you'd be bothered about not seeing. It has a slow start, with a fairly uneventful feeling out process dominating the first 5 minutes but when it got into its groove it was art. Angle goes for the Anklelock early but is thrown from the ring by Roode with great might. Landing and wound up wandering around lost in the darkened empty half of the arena for a solid hour. Everyone just went home at this point.
I jest of course! The match continued and so did the show. Lucky us eh?
Angle locks in the anklelock successfully, after stringing together a couple of German Suplexes. Roode fights out and instead locks in the crossface and this happened at least another twice. Angle then hits an Angle slam, but Roode kicks out at 2. Another attempt to string Germans together, but Roode blocks it this time after the first one, and then the finish happened. I hate armchair booking, but for me there was an infinite number of better ways to do this. I liked the start of it, as Angle has Roode in the Anklelock for what seemed like an age, also locks the leg in a grapevine, and Roode is writhing in agony. He tries to reach the ropes, but seems to pass out from the pain, and the ref goes to raise his hand to see if he was conscious only for Roode to use this to his advantage and grab the ropes. This I enjoyed. This was some dastardly shit from Roode, but I cant help but think that the energy h expended from hatching then executing this plan may have been put to better use by simply raising his hand on his own and grabbing the ropes but listen, it was a tricky move. I felt like I was watching Ravishing Rick rather than Bobby. That's how tricky it was. High 5 for trickiness.
The finish came soon after and it filled me with white hot despair. Blotches of despair began to surface on my skin, and those blotches manifested into very lifelike impressions of Hulk Hogans face when he takes a dump. Angle hits the Angle slam off the top rope, but lands awkwardly and both men are down for a count of 9. Roode breaks his count, and with Angle still laid out from his move, Roode covers him for the pin.
At this point I'm still ok with the finish, assuming its a cover so Angle can take more time off, but after being placed in a neckbrace and on to a stretcher, Angle rips the neck brace off, stands up, and walks to the back without even seemingly affected at all. So I'm not sure what this was supposed to achieve. First we make Angle look weak by allowing himself to be pinned after injuring himself from his own finisher, and then he's superman by recovering from a broken neck in 5 minutes? Horrendously confusing booking. This is proof that no matter how good the match is, the finish can still leave a bitter aftertaste.

EC3 vs A Jobber

Can't say I paid much attention to this. Derrick Bateman is good, but having him squash a jobber on the biggest show of the year on his debut is yet more awful booking. He'd have been better served having a dance-off with Disco Inferno. People would have hated/loved that enough to actually comment on it. He hits a nice T-bone suplex early on, before the jobber hits a crossbody and then EC3 got the win. I don't even have the will to pour scorn on this. Complete waste of 6-7 minutes, that could and should have been added to the X Division match.

Sting vs Magnus

This was a decent match, but if it happened with a view to Magnus going over with the fans, it missed the mark. Partly because its fairly difficult for anyone to get over other than the established stars right now because of the apathy people feel towards TNA, but also because Magnus is where charisma goes to die. Sorry Magnus pal, but getting on the mic and praising whichever city you are in that week is not cutting a promo. Its barely even counts as talking.
The match had few memorable spots. Sting strung together the classics early on, following up Backbody Drop with a Stinger Splash, and then locking in the first of a few Scorpion Deathlocks.
I feel bad about no longer liking Magnus, because one thing is undeniable, he has improved a great deal in the ring since his early stuff. That deserves respect, but character wise he simply gets on my nerves. There were shades of a heel turn here though and that might be the making of him long term. Magnus swings the momentum in his favour after a bit of showmanship from Sting, when he hits a splash of his own, before nailing the Michinoku Driver, and trying for the Texas Cloverleaf. Sting blocks, and runs through the punches, Stinger Splash, and Scorpion Deathlock routine again but once again Magnus gets to the bottom rope. I actually forgot that this finish was odd too until I checked the notes I took whilst watching. Magnus hits a flying elbow, before trying and failing to get the Texas Cloverleaf in again. Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock and Magnus elbows him so hard he just collapsed in a heap. Magnus locked in the Texas Cloverleaf finally and Sting taps.

For me this was a horribly transparent attempt to get Magnus over, when its not possible because his accent is actually 15 different accents mixed up. No man can succeed with such limitations placed upon him.

Bully Ray vs AJ Styles (TNA Title Match - No DQ)

And then there was this...
Nothing happens for the first 5 minutes. Nothing. Zilch. It was so bad I felt myself dozing off and that is the complete opposite of what should be happening when a companys biggest show reaches it climax. They exchange chops before Knux emerges from the back and chokeslams AJ. Garrett Bischoff also appeared too. The big question there is, what kind of wrestling company are you running when charaltans like Mike Knox and Garret Bishoff appear in your main event?  Not a thriving one anyway. So sad to see. I like Bully in a lot of ways. At times he is mercurial on the mic and he isnt an awful wrestler, but the shattered remnants of a stable he has left, and this half hearted feud he was given with AJ (where he seems to play second fiddle to AJ and Dixies awful Austin v Mcmahon impression) are not the best way to utilise his talents. He winds up slumped over a table on the outside so AJ goes for the 450 splash but Bully moves and he goes right through the table. This prompted an ECW chant which made what was left of my soul die.
AJ eventually hits a 450 on Bully, after Bully does that thing where he pulled the apron off the ring to reveal the boards. This is one of those spots that would be good once every 6 months for the shock factor, but this is at least the 3rd time I've seen Bully do this in the past 2 months. Other things happened but the main thing you need to know here is that AJ hits the Stylesclash and takes the belt. Escaping into the crowd with it while a shocked Dixie Carter looks on because originality is no more in TNA. Once the most innovative company in mainstream wrestling just served up two re-hashed WWE storylines as its main event for the biggest show of the year. Feel free to join me in feeling sad about this.

I'd love to say I'm sorry for the negative tone of this review, but I say what I see, and TNA Bound For Glory 2013 was largely awful. Wrestling wise it had its moments, but pretty much all the finishes felt like they were the product of overthinking and trying to create shocking moments. Most of them got little or no crowd reaction and that says it all. Also the fact that a large amount of the arena was empty says a great deal too. Bound For Glory was the first time I genuinely feared for TNA. Unless there is a complete overhaul of who runs it, it feels like its dead as a viable wrestling product. I don't think the company will die completely, but this event will be the moment when a lot of peoples interest in it tailed off, and those people were clinging on for dear life as it was.