How about this week instead of any wee gimmicks, I just review the show? I think TNA has earned the right to not be ridiculed from the get go after a very solid week last week, so here it is. A fresh start. Card for Bound For Glory looking pretty damn good, Hogan at least kayfabe fired, and no more Wes Brisco. Maybe TNA was slowly becoming a wrestling company to be taken seriously again.
Then Dixie Carter came out, and she shouted at Sting. And it all went wrong. Its all wrong. Dixie tells Sting and Magnus that they have to beat Bad Influence to keep their spots at Bound For Glory. She calls Sting sweetheart in a condescending way. Hated it.
Austin Aries vs Jeff Hardy
Excellent match. Hardy has looked awake since being booked in the midcard against wrestlers more suited to his style. Aries continues to prove every week why he should be the man leading this company. He cuts a wee promo backstage before it where he berates the interviewer. Then we had a match. A superb one. Chinbreaker from Hardy. Flying double sledge from Aries. Missile dropkick from Aries. Hardy with that powerbomb thing where you flip the opponent clean over your head. Hardy goes for the Swanton...DENIED! Sent testes first into the ropes. Brainbuster off the top rope...lights out. Aries wins.
Samoa Joe! My man! Samoa Joe putting himself in the Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory? Awww yeah. Gettin a sweat on for this shit.
Eric Young and Joseph Park look like leaving, only to remember ODB has a match and come right back. They gotta support their buddy. No question.
ODB vs The Bro Mans
ODB rubs her tits in both the bro mans faces. Eric Young backs ODB up admirably. Lei'd Tapa emerges which leads to...
ODB vs Lei'D Tapa
This would be like Micheal Jordan playing one-on-one with Brian Cardinal. Or a really good hockey player playing against one who isn't very good at all. Tapa squashes ODB. Awful, awful booking. Not an official match, but if it was It'd have been a squash.
Bully Ray pointing at and shouting at Mike Knox. No one cares, or could ever care. Stop it.
EGO is the best thing about Impact right now. Bad Influence are out to introduce Bobby Roode for his ceremony to induct him to the EGO Hall of Fame. They have their own Hall of Fame, because they're better than you. They bring him out. He cries and sits on a throne. They show a video of his finest moments. It calls him the prime minister of suave and debonair. This is the best thing ever in the history of things. Bad Influence tell Sting and Magnus they're in for a beating later. They say more nice things about Bobby. Bobby legitimately cries. He thanks himself for being so good. He tells Kurt Angle he deserves the Hall of fame spot and not him. This might lead to a Roode vs Angle feud. This needs to happen. Angle comes out! EGO get pee all down their colourful suits they're so shocked. Angle whips the shirt off an gets into the ring. Business has just picked up. Daniels goes to attack Angle, and eats a belly-to-belly for his troubles. Kaz goes at him too and swallows a German. Angle goes at Bobby Roode, he flees but Angle catches him by the Ankle, locks in the Anklelock briefly before pulling off Roodes shoe, and throwing it at him with a note reading "Angle vs Roode, Bound For Glory 2013" inside it. Whole promo was beautiful. We should all take a moment to process it.
Moments over. On with the show.
Velvet Sky vs Brooke Tessmacher
Well this happened. That human charisma vacuum known as Chris Sabin distracts his own girlfriend which leads to Brooke rolling her up for the pin. Brooke is now in the Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory so that is also a fact. Information is power.
Ethan VT. He's Derrick Bateman.
Magnus and Sting vs Bad Influence
Great match. Kinda. Well it was interesting. Sting and Mangus spend a lot of time banging into each other which is not ideal tag strategy. Bad Influence team up like a coupla team-mates when they hit a bunch of double team moves on Magnus. Total domination from Bad Influence. Magnus gets Sting in, Sting gives us all the classics. Splashin and deathdroppin everyone. Gets Magnus back in, he hits a flying elbow, before locking in the Texas Cloverleaf. Daniels makes the save. Sting tags himself back in and gets to splashin some more, deathdroppin also. It was a sneaky tag though, and after Sting gets the quick pin after the Scorpion Deathdrop, Magnus lets him know he didn't like the tag. Cry me a river Nicky, you won!
AJ Styles vs Mike Knox and Garrett "no days off from being a reprobate"Bischoff
Best thing about this was Bully on commentary. The whole match was a complete and utter waste of everyone time. Bully asks Taz on commentary if he thinks AJ Styles knows who he is. Then more terrible wrestling. AJ rallies and rolls up Bischoff for the win. Bully reacts by battering him with a chain while shouting at Knox some more. No wrestling show should ever have Mike Knox being involved more than once. Or at all. Bully ends it all back backbody dropping AJ from the ring to the ramp. Before getting on top of his lifeless body and kissing his face. Kinky.
Overall another more than decent Impact. Outstanding promo work from EGO and Angle, great match between Aries and Hardy, and an interesting match between Magnus, Sting and Bad Influence. Awful knockouts booking, and awful Main event aside it was a solid show. 6.5 Samoan Drops out of 10.
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