WWE RAW Preview 30/09/2013 (Wae Drawings If I Can Be Arsed)

I had a whole thing planned for this so I did. Basically I wis gonnae gie ye how RAW would pan out ideally in my opinion, wae a drawing to go wae every segment. Then whit I think will actually happen, and a drawing tae illustrate that. I thought it wid be a laugh riot so I did. A fun way tae spend a few hours. Know whit else it sounds like but? a pain in the cunt.

So I wont be doing that. Sorreh. If I had a better laptop mibbe, but wae this hing is fucked and cannae be moved fae the wee table I keep it on, so I can only draw/write shit for a couple hours at a time before my back seizes up and I go intae shock. Instead I'll just rant on a bit, n include a drawing a 3 as we go, that sound awrite? gid. I shall proceed then.

Opening Segment

In an ideal world this would be a match. In my eyes anyway. Unless the promo is fuckin gold, it shouldnae open the show imo. I've always felt more intae a show if it starts wae a match. Even if its shite, its an indication right away that we've got us a wrasslin show! If we're talkin totally ideal, I'd huv Axel defending that IC belt he's turning intae an irrelevance, and I'd huv him defend it against FANDANGOOOO. Whits he done tae deserve a shot I hear ye ask? well other than being braw at the wrasslin, the push Axel received months ago was intended for Mr Curtis, and now that Axel is right in amongst this Heyman and Punk feud, its time for Axel tae come up off that belt.

Here's how Fandango might look askin if any durites want tae dance wae the champ.

What will actually occur tae open the show? A fuckin Triple H promo probably. Or JTG debuting his new gimmick where he hands out roses tae female audience members and batters their husbands. Prolly the Triple H thing but eh.

The 2 hours in the middle

We'll  just lump this aw in together eh? fuck it. In an ideal world where hings are aw gid wrasslin, me being merrit tae Natalya, and Celtic winning the Champions League every year, it would go a bit like this.
Cesaro has a singles match wae someone of importance. Would be lovely if we could somehow get him in there wae Seth Rollins and we could see Seth flee intae the back row when he sells that uppercut. Failing that, Cesaro vs 1987 Ricky Steamboat.
Bray Wyatt cuts a proper promo. In the arena. Lights no completely oot, but dimmed. Before having a match that isnae a total squasher.
Big Show greets. In his hoose. Sick seein ye fuckin greetin meht. Keep it tae yersell.
The Shield aren't stuck in a poorly booked tag match against a million cunts.
Would love tae see Ambrose vs Ziggler for the US Belt actually get a proper match as opposed tae that mess on Smackdown (although the 6 man that followed wis pretty gid)
We'd have a match involving AJ and/or Natalya which is actually beneficial tae their feud, and mibbe even another wee braw promo fae AJ. Just something that isnae a pointless 6 wuman tag, wae a shiter of a finish please.
We should also definitely have CM Punk coming oot looking strong again after taking that bump last week. Him appearing on RAW the night after Lesnar brutalized him was some iconic shit. There's nae haudin CM Punk doon. I'd love tae see him pick Heyman and Rywank up mid winch and GTS them baith at once, but that's just wishful thinking int it.
I also hope the Cody n Goldust apprentice is just them taking a dentists wee drill tae Triple Hs bawsack.

Last but not least. Lets have Orton batter The Miz again. Please just lets have that every week. It makes me like Orton and The Miz so much mare. Orton is no bad a viciously battering folk, and The Miz is no bad at being viciously battered. It just works.

Here's whit Cesaro wid look like after uppercutting Seth Rollins intae space.

I reckon what will actually happen will be a mixture of some of whit I said, and LOT of fuckin Triple H n Stephanie McMahon. Wae mibbe a wee sprinkling of Kamala askin who knocked his last Irn-Bru bar.

Last Segment

Its Daniel Bryan eh? has tae be. The main man closes the show. I assume he'll actually be involved wae Orton in some way, considering they have a match for the belt, and have barely spoke tae each other since Night of Champions.  Ideally he'll be booked in a match where the odds are stacked against him, and he'll win anyway. Then he's knee Ortons jaw wae such vigour, it'll turn intae false teeth and insert itself in Mae Youngs mooth.

Here's whit Daniel Bryan wid look like after delivering such a blow to Mr Ortons jaw.

What'll actually happen? exactly whit I says meht. I have the utmost faith that Daniel Bryan will deliver a flying knee wae such force that Randy Orton might actually perish. God rest his oily soul.

Right RAW ya wee midden, ye better be gid.  If im no gien it at least 8 oota 10, it'll be a bad time for everyone.

Exceedingly gid.