Been a wee while fae I reviewed yer NXT. A few factors are at play there. First yin is, aside fae RAW, ICW shows and PPVs, nothing else really gies me that wee electric shock tae the baws that means I HUV tae write about it. I'm kinda obliged to review Impact anaw, but at times that can be a chore, and everything else I review is usually just for the fun of it. Second and most prominent reason is...I'm a bit lazy. So fuck. Sue iz.
Anyway, NXT really is a smashin wee show. Well written, and chock full of top quality talent. The fact that a very strong MOTY contender (Cesaro vs Zayn) came from a WWE show without a TV deal in the USA says it all.
Bayley and Charlotte vs Alicia Fox and Aksana
I try my level best no tae fawn over lassie wrasslers. I really dae. I respect their work, and try tae keep the tongue fae waggin oot, but sometimes its difficult. Things like Bayleys erse make it difficult. Look at the fuckin hing meht. It defies gravity. How does it stay up so high when there's so much pullin it doon? Charlotte Flair isnae bad either, and Aksana hus that dark brooding hing on the go. Alicia Fox isnae really my cup of tea, but still braw. I wantae paint them aw like a team of french girls. Anyway. Match wisnae uptae much. Charlotte Flair is by far and away the best worker of the 4 imo, although its hard tae judge Bayley considering her deranged fan gimmick means that aw her offense is based on hugging folk. Bayley gets the win wae a rollup, after Alicia accidentally booted Aksana in the chops.
Corey Graves vs Rick Victor
This was braw. These two would probably struggle to make the top 5 in terms of NXT folk who deserve a call-up and they're both very talented workers. That shows ye the depth of talent on that show. Match is mainly a pre-cursor for Victor and Conor O'Brian challenging Graves and Neville for the tag belts and there's the added element of Graves huvin sare ribs to factor in here. Victor dominates for te most part, but towards the end yer Conor O'Brian tries tae get involved, but Adrian Neville isnae huvin any of it and decided tae drop kick him aff the apron, before hitting him wae a crossbody; this gies Graves the chance to steal the win, as he reverses Victors attempt at a finisher (some kinda firemans carry situation, I'm no sure tbh...might even have been a cheeky wee F5, we'll never know) into a rollup for the win. The boys get outta there fast, stealing back the tag belt that was stolen from them last week, as Conor O'Brian cradles his stricken tag partner like he's a dug wae a sare belly.
Alexzander Rusev vs Mason Ryan
Hahahaha just naw. Rusev is awrite for a guy his size, but a bit botchy and Mason Ryan can eternally get tae fuck. After some interference fae Scott Dawson, Rusev gets the win wae a fuckin brutal looking camel clutch, but just naw. Fuck this match.
Jack Swagger vs Sami Zayn
Know whit? this might have been awrite. It might have been the best match yer eyes have ever been exposed tae, but the crushing disappointment of seeing Sami Zayn in the ring against one of the Real Americans, and it not being Antonio Cesaro wis just too much tae handle. Jack Swagger is a constant thorn in my side so he is. Unless its a tag match involving him and Cesaro, it can get tae fuck. But aye this wisnae the worst thing you'll ever see, mainly cause Zayn is unbelievably talented. Sickeningly gid at what he does. Zayn hits that wonderful hing that looks like a back body drop, but actually spins intae more of a powerbomb (It probably has its ain name, so excuse my ignorance there eh) but Swagger kicks out at 2. Swagger then takes over and gets Zayn in the ankle lock for about hauf an hour before Zayn reaches a rope. Zayn isnae happy about this unwarranted attack on his ankle, so he gets Swagger in the corner and scuds his daft jaw wae a big boot tae the melt. Zayn goes up top, but Swagger catches him, only for Zayn tae persevere and hit Swagger wae a braw looking sunset flip/powerbomb type thing. Swagger inexplicably kicks out though, and that's when ye ken whats coming. Bo Dallas comes oot tae remind us all what a waste of spunk he is, and his distraction leads tae Zayn getting caught in another ankle lock and this time he taps. If ye tied Bo Dallas and Jack Swaggers collective charisma together, ye'd mibbe have enough tae produce a Chris Sabin promo. Fuck the pair of them.
Overall I enjoyed NXT as usual. Charlotte Flair looks like a braw prospect, and the Graves v Victor match wis good. Swagger v Zayn was a cracker tae, but I wisnae a fan of the ending. We gie it a rock solid 6.5 chop blocks oota 10.
Splendid.
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