I dunno how I ended up on this loop of watchin NXT 11 days efter it first airs. I really don't know. I hink my brain's broke. Then I ask mysell wis it ever really in good nick? probably no ma man. That's my cross tae bear but.
Wrestling show.
The Ascension vs Corey Graves and Adrian Neville (NXT Tag Title Match)
The Ascension boayzies took the belts aff Graves and Neville so this was a pure rematch. Wrestling happened, it wis no bad. Nice wee exchange between Neville and Rick Victor kicked us off before Graves chops O'Brian daft, and hits a braw chopblock. He then locked in lucky 13, but Victor broke it up. Neville gets in and gets his shin dropkicked, followed by a heart toss intae the ringpost. Sare yin. Ye awrite Adrian san? he appeared tae be when he countered some Victor offence wae a kick tae the melt. Neville went for a tag but Victor dropkicked hin intae his tag partner, and then The Ascension hit yon braw double team move that naecunt seems tae ever say the name of. I'm gonnae call it The Ascensions braw double team move, or TABDTM for short. It was enough for them to deservedly retain the belts. Gid show boays.
Graves whinges at Neville for a while and wee Adrian apologises, and then COREY GRAVES TURNS HEEL. Aw I cannae believe its took me 11 days tae say this braw shit. Hits Adrian wae a chopblock fuelled by unfiltered frustration and some right gid ching. NXT wis due a gid heel turn. I'm super intae this shit. Neville and Graves will have some stupendous matches together.
Tyler Breeze vs CJ Parker
Already intae wur second match. Not a shite promo to be had. This is why I love NXT. Its a proper wrasslin show. Even if it isnae at its best, you'll invariably see enough gid wrasslin tae at least muster up enough enthusiasm tae kid on ye care.
This wisnae my cup of tea if I'm totally honest. Breeze has won me over a wee bit, but im still no intae the gimmick and I couldnae gie a fuck about this rivalry. Parker goes for a cheeky rollup but Breeze kicks oot. Parker gets kicked in the eye soon after, and then put tae bed wae a wee spinning heel kick. Is the spinning heel kick this cunts finisher? R-Truth does about 20 of them in every match he has fuck sake. Aye no bad but. Breeze then takes a nawty selfie of him and Parker and Parker responds tae this by shoving him tae fuck and scudding Tylers jaw fur him. Parker steals the cunts phone and takes some SOOOOPA NAWTY seflies wae him and some fans. Riddled wae nawtyness this wis.
Sasha Banks and Summer Rae vs Paige and Emma
Oh aye. 4 divas who could gie a fuck about pro wrasslin. Whit have we done tae deserve this magical shit? Paige starts aff against Sasha and batters her daft. Yer Mike Chioda cannae keep order tae save himself here. Bitches be bonkers. Summer Rae gets in and Paige grabs her by the hair before tagging ma wee Emma. Ach shes just sa quirky so she is. Emma hits Sasha wae a nice drop toe hold before almost getting the pin wae a sneaky wee innovative sunset flip. She makes the mistake of messing wae Summer but and Summer pulls her doon tae the ground by the hair. Nae need Summer hen. Nae need.
Summer gets in against Emma and bosses her. Almost gets the pin wae heavy fresh and braw pinning situation before they exchange rollups. Emma reaches for the tag and eventually rolls through n gets it. Paige hits some fuckin stauner inducing knees on Summer as she hovers on the middle rope. Paige goes for the win wae a Fishermans Suplex, which the fuckin haufwitted commentator called a snap suplex only tae be promptly corrected by the bold William Regal. Sasha broke up the pin and Summer Rae uses the distraction tae hit the Summer Crush for the win.
Eh bold yin wae the bold attitude. Cannae help but love Summer Rae for being the evilest of aw the barbie dolls.
Sami Zayn vs Bo Dallas (NXT Title Match)
Whit a fuckin NXT. 4 solid matches, two of them of huge significance. This is on a 40 minute show anaw, this weeks impact ran for 80 minutes and involved 1 passable match. Its sare tae see how wrong TNA are getting it right now compared tae WWEs C Show.
Naturally everycunt wae a pulse and working ability tae be irritated wanted Sami tae take the belt here. Of course they did. Bo Dallas is the antithesis of all that is good and pure about pro wrestling. A disgrace of the Rotunda family name. A wank.
Nawty wee Ole chant for Sami. Such a nawty NXT.
A wee wristlock war tae start. Snapmare intae a pin for Sami but nae dice. A coupla roll ups fae Sami followed, but nae joy. This knobend commentator keeps calling rollups "stackups"'and its daein ma fuckin box in. Wrap that in Todd Pettingimp.
This was already comfortably my favourite Bo Dallas experience. Intriguing wee match so it wis. A wee heidlock exchange wis next, which Dallas broke up wae a nice uppercut tae the jaw.
Dallas draps some stiff knees tae Zayn jaw before repeatedly covering him for 1 counts. ONE AINT ENOUGH MAN, I NEED THREE.
Sami gets on top, wee back body drop, and Sami hits the big boot in the corner. A fuckin nonsense so it wis, cause he covers him for a 3 count and seemed tae win the belt, only everycunt wae a functional set of fuckin eyes seen Bo Dallas had his foot on the rope. This wis just an excuse tae reel JBL out and remind everycunt hes the GM noo. He says the match will continue, nae match that the Wrestling God oversees will end like this. Apathy.
Dallas hits a forearm, before Zayn hits a breathtaking dive. High octane shit fae these two lehdz.
Zayn goes up high, hits a crossbody but NAE BELT. Dallas shows the baws tae kick oot at 2. Zayn goes for the big boot again but Bo blocks and instead gets hit wae a braw spinning doctor bomb (had nae idea it wis called that tae Regal said it btw, amazing fuckin name) that disnae get the job done either, and Bo rallied tae kick Zayn in the belly and hit a picture perfect tilt o whirl bullsdog. That right, Bo Dallas wis fuckin gid here. Ye want tae fight aboot it ya diddy ride. Dallas keeps on throwing offence at Sami but oor Generico aint havin none of it.
He then comes oota nae place wae a fuckin EYEPOPPER of a spear. But Dallas kicks oot. He'll no be beat by his ain move. Nae chance. Nae use even tryin. Sami tries tae go old schoolm but Dallas sends him sack first on tae the top rope and hits his version of the spear. Cunts actually no bad at it, but naw. Nae 3 count.
Brilliant match this btw. First time I've ever understood Bo Dallas and Bray Wyatt coming fae the same family. UnBoLievable.
Dallas gets Sami up top and goes for the superplex, but oor Sam fights hard, and hits yon flip pwoebob off the top but DALLAS KICKED OOT AGAIN. Aw this is too braw. Whit is even happening here.
Sami hits a German Suplex and the idiot commentator calls it a backdrop, he hits another yin and when he went for a third, Dallas sends him heid first intae an exposed turnbuckle and Dallas gets the win off the back of that.
Fuckin quality match, but I wisnae daft on the finish. It seemed perfectly set up for a new champ, or putting Dallas over clean tae add tae his heel heat. That finish made nae sense tae me.
Overall though, a superb NXT. Almost makes me wish I didnae leave it so long tae gie a so. No regrets though. They don't work. Robbie will tell ye that. 8 tiger bombs intae suplexes outta 10.
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