Monday, October 28, 2013

WWE Hell In A Cell 2013 Review

Hell In A Cell is an odd yin. Ye see the name and instantly reminisce about some of the classic Cell matches we've been treated tae over the years. The breathtaking physical spectacle Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker served up on a bloodstained platter. The iconic and borderline suicidal bumps Foley took. The first and for me still the best Cell match, which ended in blood drenched betrayal after Kanes debut led tae HBK stealing the win over Taker. Also, Taker v Trips at Mania eh.....happened. I'd gie it 6 oota 10 personally, but who am I tae argue wae the best there is, the best there wis, and the best there ever will be? I'm a naecunt.

I didnae watch the pre-show btw. Heard Big E v Axel wis aff cause Axel burst baith his hips when he wis shagging wee dugs up the luggy park, so I dingied it and watched Noam Dar vs AJ Styles on Challenge instead. There wis a match though and I ken who wins it, but I don't know the finish or anything the match contained. I'm gonnae take a guess at it here and if you seen it, let me know how close it wis. There's nae prize for partaking in this other than the sense of achievement ye'd get fae getting involved ma man. Awrite here we go..

GUESSWORK - Damien Sandow vs Kofi Kingston

Sandow starts out strong, wee bitta side Russian leg sweep. Kofi comes back wae some kicks, and a springboard crossbody/dropkick...mibbe baith. Sandow gets back on top wae the Elbow of Disdain, but Kofi rallies again, and comes close tae Trouble In Paradise. Sandow eventually gets the win wae that new finisher he does. Yon Full Nelson slam hing. The End. Mibbe a wee dive tae the outside wae him landing on his feet fae Kofi anaw.

Wis I close? bet I wis. Dolph wis on the pre-show panel btw, which is a fuckin travesty, but he looked happy enough tae be there. Making the best of it Dolph ma man, widnae expect anything else. Kaitlyn err tae lookin mighty fine. I want her tae spear me through a table made ootae chocolate or suhin. I dunno.

Goldust and Cody Rhodes vs The Usos vs Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns (WWE Tag Title Match)

I see a lot of patter about Goldust being just as gid as he was in his prime, and I wholeheartedly disagree meht. He isnae as good as he was in his prime, he's BETTER This is Goldust in his prime. Gie him aw the shiny belts. Well no them aw, but at least wan mare belt tae go with his current belt. He goes for a pre match handshsake wae his brerr but Cody misses it and that wid be their only failure of the whole night.
This match wis jist lovely. A ridiculously high bar to set the rest of the roster. Bet ye WWE are kinda regretting putting this first, cause nothing really matched uptae it tbh. Bryan n Orton rivalled it for match quality, but the finish in that still puts a dampner on it for me.
A relevant, and exciting WWE tag division in 2013 eh? who widda thought it. So much of this year has been returning tae old methods that fuckin worked. Similar dynamics tae the attitude era, just a lot mare PC and corporate but yer still getting some top quality wrasslin and at times captivating storytelling.
This yin starts wae the Uso brerrs and the Rhodes brerrs huvin a wee set to. Cody and Jimmy or Jey huv a magic wee exchange, before they baith block each others hiptoss attempts and an Uso hits a scoop slam. Goldy gets back in, and delivers some braw uppercuts tae an Uso before bootin him in the melt.
Rollins finally gets in and decides tae get Goldy in a headlock, cause this shit wis too good so far. We were needin calmed doon. Cheers Seth. Big Roman gets in n jabs Goldys coupon for him, before chinlockin me tae sleep. Yer Goldust fights oot it afore Reigns fails tae go over properly for the backslide. Him and Goldust have had some gid moments together, but that wis a wee reminder that the big yin is still a wee bit rough round the edges.
Goldust ends the unfortunate wee sequence of shiteness wae a braw DDT and we finally get tae see Rollins again. Flyin dropkick tae Cody on the apron means that Goldust has naebdy tae tag when he goes tae the corner. The Usos urge him tae tag wanna them in and he gies in and decides tae dae it, but Rollins then pulls them aff the apron anaw. Reigns hits a spear on Goldust seemingly for the win, but Cody breaks that up. Nae second reign for Reigns.
Cody hits a moonsault on Rollins but he kicks out at 2. An Uso makes a blind tag, and gets tae flyin aw err the place. Crossbody on Rollins, kicks tae the gut, and an erse splash in the corner. Reigns breaks the count this time and ye get the feeling like we're getting intae another one of these frantic finishes.
Uso #1 sends Reigns and Goldust over the ropes, and hits a flying crossbody, and back in the ring Uso #2 tosses Rollins a million feet in the air and catches him in a Samoan Drop.
Eventually we get back down tae Cody and Rollins and this is when business picks up serr. Cody blocks a superplex attempt, and instead decides tae superplex Rollins aff the top rope tae the outside where every other cunt in the match seems tae be huddled together. Belter of a spot in a belter of an opening match. Gid tag wrasslin ma man, ye cannae whack it.
In the ring an Uso hits a big splash aff the top rope tae break up Codys pin attempt on Rollins, and as he drags Rollins tae the corner Reigns hits him wae a spear, Uso superkicks Reigns, Goldust  gets hit wae a boot tae the melt by Rollins, before Cody hits the CROSS RHODES FURRA WIN. After Goldust pushed Rollins intae the path of his wee brerr.
Fuckin beautiful opener. Between ICW and WWE, we're getting treated tae a wealth of gid tag shit these days. It makes me want tae disrobe and go a wee nudey celebratory jog so it does. Brawer than the brawest hing since they sterted keepin records on things.

Miz/Wyatts Promo

Any excuse tae hear Bray say words is a gid thing, but I have numerous issues wae this, which I will list for ye below, wae numbers n aw sorts.
  1. They had The Miz tied tae a railing on Smackdown, whilst he wis spark out, wae 'liar' written on his chest, so how the fuck is out here wae just a slight limp cutting a promo?
  2. Why?
  3. When Bray said his words, how come he wisnae oot there in person?
  4. Why did any of this happen?
  5. I don't understand. Somedy tell me.
  6. Please
Aye but. Miz tells him and the boays tae come ahead. Bray appears on the titantron and tells Miz he wants tae put him out his misery. It pains him tae see Miz so dishevelled. Please understand, your words mean nothing tae Bray. If only you could see the monster which lies behind Brays eyes (and prolly doon his troosers anaw)
Rowan and Harper appear and knock the steamin shite oota Miz before EH BIG RID MACHINE RETURNS! Kane's back troops. First time since he got mauled at Summerslam. Big boot tae Rowan before he sends Harper flyin. It looks and smells like hauners for The Miz, but don't be fooled, that walloper catches a chokeslam for his troubles anaw. Nighty night ya diddy ride.

Gid tae huv ye back Kane serr. When ye ripped that cell door aff aw they years ago, I obtained my second full on erection (first yin wis tae dae wae a certain poster of Sable in a catsuit) so you and Hell In A Cell will always go hand in hand. Follow The Buzzards but eh.

Fandango and Summer Rae vs Natalya and Khali

Don't huv the faintest clue why this wis on the PPV, but it wis ok. As long as it leads tae Summer Rae being a permanent fixture on the Divas roster and she gets a proper feud wae Nattie, I'm fine wae it. Their exchanges in this match were pretty gid, and Summers just a talented evil wee Barbie doll. Fandango gets on the mic briefly before we start, and caws himself the best salsa dancer since its invention. Him and Summer huv a wee jig but the perty stoaps stane deid when Khalis daft music starts. As much as I hate Nattie being aligned wae this nugget, she does a lot of bouncing tae his music so its no aw bad eh. Anyway listen, we had some braw stuff between Summer and Natalya so that's gid. Usual mixture of chops, slaps, big boots and lookin like he needs a shite fae Khali. Fandango done his best tae work wae the big lump, god bless his hert, Just wisnae tae be.
Summer gets in and gies Khali a tellin aff for bein awfa rough, but Natalya gets her in a headlock for her troubles. Summer takes a shoulder block before delivering a lovely wee hiptoss intae a pint Backslide fae Natalya gets a 2 count, before a lovely dropkick fae Summer. She gets right cocky but, and gets tae gyrating they hips aw err the place. Natalya puts her on her face for her cheek, and skelps her erse. Stauner. Fandango gets tagged in and gies it aw the gyrating patter anaw, so Natalya sweeps his feet oot fae under him.
Fandango takes Khali aff his feet wae a dropkick, but thankfully the lassies get back in and after some brief tomfoolery, Summer rolls ootae the Sharpshooter, and rolls Natty up for the pin.
Actually a lot better than It should have been, mainly due tae the brawness between the burds. Natalya could wrassle a binbag fulla auld sweaty vests and I'd prolly love it right enough. Ye've got ma digits Natty hen, gies a bell when ye get a spare minute eh darlin. x

Dean Ambrose vs Big E Langston (US Title Match)

Big E's on the card after all! There is a god. I widnae have minded seeing the big wonder take this belt here. Dean Ambrose is a star in the making no matter whit, he disnae need the belt tae make him, but for me Big E wid benefit hugely fae a strong run with a midcard belt.
This match wis made on the pre-show cause it wis frankly daft that Ambrose wis left aff the card anyway and Big E's got momentum so lets get it awn.
Ambrose gies the Big Yin a wee slap tae start, so Langston hits him wae the standing diddy splash hing he does. Follows it u wae a regular auld splash in the corner and a wee backbreaker. Beautiful succession of chops fae Ambrose, afore he catches some big knees in return and a braw back body drop. Then a proper bearhug Air goes fleein oota Ambroses lungs, before he fights oot and gets sent flying when he dives at Big E in the corner. A wee bit outside hi-jinks occur, and then Deano tries suhin wholly daft. Tries tae suplex Big E back intae the ring which is the height of madness. He got too much for ya man! Even if ye had yer pals wae ye it widnae be enough man, cause when ye wantae lift Big E Langston THREE AINT ENOUGH MAN, YOU NEED FIVE.

(I'd like tae take this opportunity tae apologise for that joke there. You expect better fae me. Correctly so)

Ambrose takes over at this point, and he gets Big E pinned on the ropes for a few slaps, before hittin him wae a dropkick. Naecunt better in the company at the the wee mind games hings than Ambrose. When he gets the upper hand, its aw methodical and aw braw. Big E fights back though and reverses a sleep by flein intae the corner wae Ambrose on his back. Running diddy splash fae Langston gets a 2 count, before he misses wae the big slash. Disnae miss wae that belter of a belly tae belly, but he only managed a two count.
Then we get exactly whit aw the "Wrestling is too PG these days, I miss aw the tits" have been slavering fur when Big E gets busted wide open. Fuck knows how but he had a huge cut below his eye, lit sumdy had took a Stanley blade tae it or suhin. Bearing this in mind, Big E still disnae gie a monkeys. Throws caution tae the wind when Ambrose is staunin on the apron and Big E SPEARS HIM AFF THE APRON TAE THE OUTSIDE. Baith boayzies doon. Big E crawlin back in and he makes it at 8, but Ambrose stumbles aboot and decides against it. Up the road. Lost the match but kept the belt. Big E isnae fuckin huvin any of the that though. If he wisnae walkin oot of HIAC wae a shiny belt, he WILL leave wae a wee scar under his eye, and he will leave having hit the Big Ending on Dean Ambrose.

Braw match. Short, but fantastic tae see a coupla talented, charismatic young cunts daein the business. Born with none of the genetic wrasslin gifts that were afforded to Curtis Axel, but they work like a coupla cunts that have had tae graft tae ger where they are. That's whit its aw aboot. No saying Axel husnae worked hard, but he also cuts promos that doctors are recommending as a viable alternative tae sleepin pills.


CM Punk vs Ryback and Paul Heyman

Poor Punk. He puts oan one of the most brutal displays of storytelling in wrasslin history against Brock Lesnar and whits his reward? getting tae batter his mentor wae a Kendo Stick and huvin tae work wae a coupla shanners like Curtis Axel and Rywank.
A coupla cunts that sook the charisma oota any rom they enter. They're the reason HBK lost his smile. They caused Montreal. They caused Goldberg tae botch that kick. They caused The Rock tae end CM Punks reign wae a fuckin elbow drop. It wis them all along.
The two wrasslers come oot, afore Heyman gets rolled oot in a poorly manned chairlift type hing, which lifts him on tae the tap of the Cell, and on his road up he gies Punk some patter about how he's the devil, he is Satan himself, he is the best in the world. It wis fuckin rerr, check it oot if ye get the chance bud, nae pressure.
Then the match started and it wis predictably shite. Gid start though, as Punk batters Ryback aff the Cell and hits him wae the first kendo stick of the evening. Ryback grabs him and gets his revenge by ramming Punk intae the cell quite boringly. Stood on his neck a bit tae, so fuck.
Mare messiness roon aboot the Cell, mare neck stomping. This square diddied cunt has a thing for choking folk eh? Finally a spot worth talking aboot when Ryback lifts Punk for a suplex, only tae smash him aff the Cell repeatedly. Know that way when ye were playin fitbaw in school n ye'd get nudged aff the baw and intae the nearest wall? it wis like that, cept sarer and mare sweaty.
Ryback hits an awrite lookin backdrop hing before inexplicably gaun for a bearhug while Punk wis on the ground. Yer mans on his last legs n you gie him a fuckin cuddle? Utter clown of a man.
Punk rallies n dropkicks his stupid leg oot fae under him, before delivering the high knee in the corner which Ryback sells as if he got a wee fright. Goes for the springboard crossbody but Ryback catches him fur a powerslam and pulls down the straps on his singlet tae reveal A COUPLA PERFECTLY SQUARE DIDDIES.
Punk picks up a Kendo Stick and goes tae town on Rybacks breid basket. Wee shot tae the heid anaw, followed by the running knee then the Macho Man elbow drop which he kinda butchers a wee bit. That got a 2 count. Gonnae huv tae put this cunt tae sleep I think Punk. Mare kendo stick shots followed. At this point aside fae that wee suplex spot, there's nae reason for this match tae huv been in the Cell.
Punk gets a fuckin table oot and its gets set up on its side for some reason. That reason is revealed soon after, as Punk gets drapped baws first on the upturned table. Interesting spot, cannae say I've ever seen a table used tae maim a cunts baws before.
Ryback sets up the table, looks up at Heyman and goes "how dae mah diddies look fae up there?" Totally diddy conscious so he is. Ryback somehow finds himself on the table, so Punk hits yer Macho Man elbow drop again tae put him through it. Ryback gets up at the same time as Punk fur some unfathomable reason, despite having just went through a table, but he's no up for long as Punk hits him wae a kendo stick/GTS combo and that's game over. Well its game over fur Ryback, but theres a certain wee greasy genius dwelling up the tap of the Cell that needed dealt wae.

Punk grabs a shiny new Kendo Stick and stick it in his trunks. Up tae the top he went. Nowhere to run to Paullllll, nowhere to hiiide.
Punk asks him whit else he's supposed tae do? Heyman disnae provide a viable alternative so he gets KNOCKED THE FUCK OOT. A gid 10-15 shots tae the back wae the kendo stick, before Punk whoops up the crowd and then its night night time. GTS. Night Paul.E, wis nice knowin ye pal.

A lot of writing for a shite match eh? fuck it. The finish wis no bad and Punks some man. He deserves aw the writing.

Los Matadores vs Jack Swagless and Antonio Cesaro

Pile ah fuckin baws. Cesaro got tae spin Epico or Primo aboot for ages, cause he's apparently some kinda circus wrassler noo. They dae yon double team spot, where Cesaro hits the double foot stomp and apart fae that, there wis fuck all ye needed tae see here. Los Matanaecunts won wae a fuckin shiter of a double team move on Swagger. The Wee Bull hit a hurricanrana on Cesaro cause he wis trying tae stop them bullying Zeb and Zeb got away unscathed. Nae reason fur this tae be anywhere near a PPV. Dae something worthwhile wae Cesaro or ye can chase yersells.

Bert Del Rio vs John Ceenah (WH Title Match)

Any other champion I'd have been dead against this. Sorry John, yer ma mainest man, but there's nae way ye should be rushed back fae injury two months early and immediately booked tae take a big belt. Its not on. When its Del Rios belt? aye meht. Have at it. Huv the IC Belt while yer at it anaw but drap that tae Big E asap.
Del Rio goes after the burst elbow early on and Cena escapes, fearing a re-bursting of the aforementioned elbow. Cena gets some Irish Whips on the go, afore hittin a tasty wee Bulldog. Kick tae the ribs and dropkick fae Del Rio. Bashes Cenas arm on the steel steps after bootin him oot the ring, the cheeky midden. Mare vicious kicks. I don't hink he's very nice tbh wae ye troops. Seems tae kick folk in the belly a lot. Cena fucks up a drop toehold, afore Del Rio hits a brammer of a German Suplex. Tries tae work on the arm, and eventually gets an armbar type hing locked in. Cena fights oot eventually and hits a braw wee hiptoss, followed by a right gid dropkick. Bert gets back in the ascendancy but cause he's the man wae aw the armbars. This yins just yer classic everyday armbar, nuhin tae write hame about. Cena fights oot and goes tae adjust some attitudes, but he kicks kicked in the leg and tellt where tae go. Del Rio tries tae come aff the tap rope, but Jan Seeenahs got a bit less bulk on him these days, and that means yer mans hittin aw the dropkicks. Catches Del Rio perfectly wae a mid-air dropkick, afore gaun for yer attitude adjustment again. This time De Rio reverses it tae the backstabber and michty me, whit a stoater of a match this wis.

Tornado DDT aff Cena, cause incase ye hudnae noticed, the man can fuckin wrestle. Its never perfect but he does a lot of things well. Gaun up tae the top rope has never been one of those things right enough, and Bert catches him on the temple wae a kick as he went to the top. Cena goes for the STF after ducking a kick fae ADR, but he blocks it and hits oot wae a tilt o whirl backbreaker. That's no pittin Cena away but, so he gets hung upside doon in the corner fur bein such a hero, and booted mercilessly by the Mexican Chris Sabin. Cena ducks oot the road of the last kick, and goes up top tae hit a fuckin decent crossbody. I retract my previous statement Cena meht, FLYYYY LITTLE PELICAN.
Del Rio tries the crossarmbreaker, but Cena rolls through and locks in that fuckin ridiculously sloppy shiter of an STF. Del Rio asks the ref why Cena's cuddlin him, but he gets nae answer, so he gets tae the ropes, breaks the bold and superkicks Cenas jaw aff fur him fur a 2 count.
Finally gets gets the crossarmbreaker in, but ye ken fine well we're gonnae huv a mental spot, where Cena displays that his arms totally healed. That's whit we get when Cena lifts Del Rio whilst the Cross Armbreaker is still in and slams him doon. Cena goes for the AA, Del Rio blocks and goes for the Cross Armbreaker again, Cena blocks that and finally, efter about a hunner attempts, he hits the AA tae become the new World Heavyweight Champ.

I don't mind this cause it'll mean I can go back tae ignoring all Alberto Del Rio promos, but aw the same, he needs tae drap the belt tae somedy who deserves it, and quickly. Hopefully tae Sandow, or Cesaro, or Dolph, or mibbe even fuckin Drew. Just somedy that's due it.


AJ Lee vs Brie Bella (Divas Title)

AJ hen, you are killing it right now. Even when yer gied a shiter like this to work wae, ye still make it interesting enough. That's not tae say this match was interesting like, cause it most certainly wisnae, but the wee rivalry has been passable. Brie isnae too bad compared tae most of the model/wrasslers, but it disnae come naturally to her so a lot of the time ye get matches like this yin, which had nae pace tae it whatsoever. Brie strings together some dropkicks and a flying forearm and everyones erse collapsed in harmony. Surely this nugget couldnae take the belt? Brie does yon roll through intae the half crab hing which is really all she he has that disnae make ye want tae bin her, but AJ got tae the ropes and then locked in the Black Widow for the win. Know whit that means mon frère? NAE BELTS FURRA BELLAS. Everyone grab the person nearest ye, and as long as its no a relative, or a particularly stinkin flatmate, get that person pumped.

Triple H n Shawn huvin a wee chat backstage before the main event. Shawn needs tae do what's best for business, and that's superkicking his daft pal tae his nose is human sized.

Daniel Bryan vs Randy Orton w/ Shawn Michaels Special Guest Ref (Hell In A Cell match for the vacant WWE Title)

Mind when HBK used tae stop the show? that was his thing. That wis how we all loved him. He wis the show. He wis the match of the night on the majority of cards he wis ever on. He had the charisma on the mic tae pull off any kind of promo. He had the adaptability tae work good matches wae useless lumps like Batista and Hogan (In Hogans case I mean that purely based on limited in-ring ability, Batista is bad at all things human related) and for me he worked some of the most enjoyable matches I've ever seen at WM with Chris Jericho, Bret Hart, Taker and Ric Flair.
Its for these reasons that I'm no a huge fan of these wee appearances he makes since he retired, cause as much as he usually does a decent job of contributing to whichever storyline he is asked tae, it still disnae feel like the same cunt. It feels hollow. The music's the same, but the swagger that used tae go wae it is gone. The thirst for the limelight has faded. He disnae live for wrestling anymore, and Shawn I'm right happy fur ye meht. Ye've found that inner peace, and that means ye can go aboot huntin, n grawin beards, n takin the weans tae the swimming, but it also means ye shouldnae be involved in wrasslin angles anymore.
HBK comes oot first, then the wrasslers, and then Triple H. Triple Hs presence wis met wae one big melodic sigh fae everyone watching this shite, but he just draps the belt aff n gets back tae braidin Stephs hair.

A match breaks oot and Bryan gets us gaun wae a missile dropkick. Orton counters that wae that fuckin pish spot where he drops his opponent belly first on the ropes. He done it 3 or 4 times anaw, which baffled me, cause ye can dae that in any match ya clown. Ropes are there 24/7, that isnae Cell specific brutality ma man.
He drags Bryan tae the outside n smooshes his face aff the Cell, before Bryan reverses an Irish Whip intae the steel steps. Back in the ring Bryan kicks some charisma intae Orton before setting him up in the corner and hitting another peach of a dropkick, and then another tae send Orton outside for some suicide dives. How many I hear ye ask? Number one lands perfectly, sending Orton intae the Cell. Number two goes exactly tae plan also, but when Number three gets cleared for take-aff, Orton moves ootae the flight path and Bryan goes melt first intae the Cell. A sare dunt ye might say.
Orton goes for the corner jabs, but Bryan reverses intae a flip powerbomb hing. Oh aye, this is whit I wanted fae this as a match so far.
A fuckin uppercut war followed and it wis beautiful. Wrasslin wise this is the most I've enjoyed Orton by a distance, and even then the thought of him winning, n cradling that belt lit a wee sick puppy or suhin gied me the dry boke.
Bryan wins the uppercut exchange and follows it up wae that top rope Hurricanrana, quick rollup fae Orton leads tae a 2 count, then that's reversed intae the Yes! lock. Somedy notify the Blazin Squad, cause these boys are daft fur flip reversin it.
Back err at the Cell, Bryan dropkicks yer Orton and then its time for a wee break. Bryan goes tae work on the midriff of Orton wae a chair, before taking a wee time out tae throw about 10 chairs in the ring. Goes tae continue the chair assume in the ring, but auld sleekit nae eyes raked Bryans eyes and got a hauf of a chair himself. A few shots tae Bryans back, before Orton gathers aw the chairs up in the middle of the ring, lit he's 5 year auld again and that's his copper collection. Takes Bryan up for the superplex, and after it being blocked the first time he finally hits the superplex on top of the chairs. As braw a spot as that wis, it wis ruined by the re-emergence of the noise. Oot comes Hunter tae gie Shawn jip for no counting fast enough. Whilst the jip is being delivered, Orton hits that botchy as fuck T-bone suplex in the background, and when Shawn isnae there tae count, Orton comes oot and joins in the jip giving. See HBK in his heyday? he'd have fuckin wrecked the cunt just for lookin at him the wrang way, but this HBK just took it. He seemed tae accept this rampant disrespect and that makes me sad. Sadder than when he tellt us his mammy said he lost his smile. Sadder than when Taker got that 3 count at WM 26. Sadder than the saddest hing.

Orton hits the Carmel DDT, before a stramash ensues that leads tae Orton being pushed intae HBK. Then the unthinkable happened. Well it wis only unthinkable cause ye didnae want tae believe it might happen, but once they got itnae the finish, ye seen it coming a country mile aff. Triple H breaks the padlock aff the Cell and bursts in tae try n get Shawn tae wake up. D-Bry takes umbrage tae this despite the fact that he wis jist trying tae wake him up anaw, and delivers the flying knee tae Triple H. At this point, Michaels is up and kinda hovering in the middle of the ring, lookin mildly confused. SWEET CHIN MUSIC tae Bryan. Betrayal. Orton covers him. HBK takes ages tae even start countin for some reason, before finally counting the 3. Orton is the champ again.

I dunno why but for some reason, my faith is strong. I just hink its aw set up for one huge moment where D-Bry overcomes all the odds at a major PPV and finally becomes the champion cleanly. Survivor Series meht. One last shot. Bryan goes hame wae a shiny belt. Cannae change the fact that he's gaun hame tae a Bella right enough, but at least his wrasslin situation will be sorted. He'll haud the belt tae Mania, where he drops it in a beautiful 60 minute iron man match wae CM Punk. The boays have come full circle. On top of the mountain. A coupla vanilla midgets who made it tae the top, while Kevin "wee guys cant be main eventers" Nash signs autopgraphs for 30 quid a pop at Celtic Park.

Nae offence tae Kev n the lads like. But he is an obnoxious big wank.

Overall on second (and then third) viewing I reckon Hell In A Cell just scrapes pass marks. Some useless filler, and Punk v Ryback wis rotten, but Summer Rae debuted, we seen Cesaro, aw the wrasslin involved in the matches for the belts wis good. Tag Match wis a wee masterpiece, and The Big Show didnae appear, nor did he greet. That makes Hell In A Cell rated at a right average 6 suicide dives oota 10.

Jim The Anvil Neidhardt sings the Outro.


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