I'll start by saying I dont really watch TNA, so if the
following is peppered with confusion and expletives aimed at Hulk Hogan, please
forgive me.
The show starts with Hogan talking to a bunch of guys in the
ring. Talking to the talent. Detracting from the talent, because hes a
limelight hogging parasite. The camera pans to an adult male, excitedly waving
around a red and yellow jacket with Hogans face on it. I launch the beer im
drinking at the tv and it catches fire.
Hogan explains to the crowd that its open fight night, and
that the 12 men in the ring had qualified for the Bound For Glory series.
Everyone knew that though. Even I knew that and I dont even watch TNA.
Seriously Hulk, get fucked.
Ken Anderson vs Joseph Park
Anderson got the win after big Luke Gallows interfered, and
I got unreasonably irritated at Taz and his rotten heel commentary. Thats about
all I've got for this one tbh. Anderson wins via pinfall.
Next was an Aces and Eights promo backstage. with Bully
addressing the troops. Bullys a good heel, but it has a weird feel to it. Rambling
about his wife. I dont care brah, say things about wrestling.
Austin Aries vs Jay Bradley
I have no earthly
idea who Jay Bradley is tbh. I gave him a google and apparently hes ex WWE. He
sends a wee corny as fuck challenge towards Aries, and out he comes. I haven't
seen enough of Aries , so I was looking forward to this, and it was ok. A bit
short, but I was impressed with Aries, as he picked up the win with a
Brainbuster on a guy that must have been at least 60 pounds heavier than him.
Hernandez vs Christopher Daniels
Fuck Hernandez. Daniels is a talented guy, and made this
watchable, but fuck Hernandez.
Daniels gets the win with the BME.
Kazarian vs Magnus
This was ok. The last time saw Magnus he was shite, but I've
heard he's improved and that certainly seemed to be the case. Magnus picked up
the win with the Texas Cloverleaf, giving him 10 points in the Bound for Glory
series. Good for him. Hurrah.
More Hogan. This time a promo with Bully Ray. Bully Ray
comes across well again, but guess what? Its not about wrestling. Its not about
anything of significance to wrestling either, its about Hogan. Listen Terry, I
was your biggest fan as a kid, and I still had all the respect in the world for you
2-3 years ago, but get your decrepit melted face to fuck please.
Finally something I'm into! I heard about this promo and its
half the reason I watched this in the first place. Brooke Hogan addresses the
knockouts divsion, but thats not why I watched it, because fuck Brooke Hogan.
Mickie James comes out, and her promo is decent. I've always liked Mickie James
and I fuckin hated that angle about her weight in WWE, so its good to see her
somewhere where her talents are used in a less snidey way. Her promo isnt the
reason I watched this either though, the reason I watched it was for Eric
Young. All these gorgeous ladies in the ring, and I'm tuned in for a guy, but
that guy just happens to be fuckin hilarious. He explains that he and his wife
ODB will have tae give up the Knockouts Tag Titles because "If you wanna
get technical about it, if you wanna get down to brass tax, carry the two over
the common denominator...technically I'm not a woman" Fuckin slayed me. He
then announces its national kissing day, and kisses the face off his missus. A
thoroughly entertaining segment all in. Give me more of this kinda shit please.
AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe
Enjoyable contest this. The last time I watched TNA with any
regularity was when Samoa Joe was champ, so I've always enjoyed his work.
Styles is great too. They wrestle to a very enjoyable 15 minute time limit
draw. Not a Hogan in sight so it gets two thumbs up from this guy. WRESTLING
PREVAILS.
Bobby Roode vs Jeff Hardy
I'm a fan of Roode, and he bossed this for the most part, so
I was surprised to see Hardy win clean. Decent match. Hardy looked 10x better
than he was when I watched his match at Slammiversary so I suppose thats good.
The show ended with a decent segment between the TNA Champ
Bully Ray and Sting. Sting chases Bully up the aisle with the intent to hand
out a beat down, only for Kurt Angle to attack Bully from behind and stick him
in the anklelock for what felt like around an hour. Turns out Kurt Angle is the
newest member of the Main Event Mafia, and they're intent on ending Aces and
Eights reign of terror or whatever. Classic stable vs stable fair. I'm not mad
at it, but I feel like I've seen it a million times.
Aside from the Hogan bits it wasnt bad I suppose, but it all
felt a wee bit erratic. Theres an abundance of talent there, and for me it just
felt like it wasnt being used properly. If theres talent like AJ Styles, Kurt
Angle, Bobby Roode, Sting, Samoa Joe and Austin Aries at your disposal, then
why am I being subjected to numerous Hulk Hogan promos? Fuckin senseless. TNA
should be the alternative to all the "Sports Entertainment" crap, but
this all felt like a shit WCW impression for the most part and a lot of that is
down to Hogan.
Trust the stack of good wrestlers you employ to run your wrestling
company please. If you want to, no pressure.
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