There is no better
storyteller in pro wrestling right now than CM Punk. Perhaps there has never
been a better storyteller in pro wrestling than CM Punk, I will fight ye so
hard it wid make yer eyes bloodshot if you disagree. The man is a fuckin
artist. Every single promo is its ain rich tapestry of wonder. So imagine my
excitement when I saw the great man make an all too rare appearance on yer
Smackdown this week, and not only that, he would be opening the show with one
of his trademark stauner inducing segments of promo magic.
He has a wee pop at
the boy Cena, and continues on about the current drama he has on the go with
Heyman and Lesnar, before he is rudely interrupted by Alberto Del Shite Promo.
ADSP cuts a fuckin utter shanner of a promo, and is proudly mocked by Punk
throughout before the bold Teddy Long breaks it up by informing the two
boayzies that they would face each other in the main event. Their match on RAW
a couple of weeks ago wisnae too shabby, so I was baws oot for this.
Next up is a wee
segment between Punk and Heyman. I reckon these two could take shots each of
reading articles oot The Daily Star and it would be must see. Its a decent wee
promo, with Heyman urging Punk to consider utilising his services again as a
manager, but Punks no fur it. This is aw gonnae end in tears.
The Usos vs Rhodes Scholars
Fuckin gies it! Love
aw these cunts, loved this match. So much yass it wid make yer heid spin. It
was quick, but very entertaining stuff and mare importantly, the Usos won
cleanly. This is one of my favorite pushes in a long long time, two talented
hard working guys who have paid their dues and are fuckin killin it now they
have their chance. Magic.
The Shield appear on
the titantron tae have a wee word wae the boys, and thats great anaw.
Particularly liked the fact that Ambrose was the last tae speak. If Dean
Ambrose wins the WH Title MITB match, I will be convinced that this company
knows whits whit in terms of the future. Its aw Ambrose, Bryan, Punk and
Ziggler for me. They’re the guys. Throw a Cesaro main event push intae the mix,
and I’ll be a happy boay.
Kaitlyn vs Alicia Fox
Ach this was awrite I
suppose, but ye cannae just keep daein the same thing every week. Kaitlyn or AJ
have a match, the other yin comes out to distract the one wrasslin, and costs
her the match most of the time. Its
right borin so it is. I wis enjoying this feud, but yer losin my interest a bit
here. Alicia wins.
Wee backstage segment
between Orton and Christian, they’re tae wrestle later in the evening ye see, so
we need build up for that cause...eh....aye. Its fairly pointless, and Ortons
bit makes me wish my ears wid evapourate somehow, but it is whit it is. Its
followed by a Wyatt promo, so its no aw bad eh? This one just has that rockin
chair, wae nae sign of any Wyatts which is eerie as fuck. I’m as intae it as
any man has ever been intae anything, part fae Tom Cruise that time he jumped
aw err Oprahs couch, but he was fulla Ket, and I dont take drugs. Drugs are bad
for ye.
Randy Orton vs Christian
See when I said later
in the evening? Haha ho ho..that wis my bad, I meant the noo. Anyway, it’s an
Orton match and as we all know, a Randy Orton match is only as good as how
intae it Orton is. He must not have fancied it when he was tellt the finish of his RAW match wae
Kane, cause imo it was a fuckin stinker. This was good though, I’m so intae
this Christian return its no real. It’s like he’s seen how good a lot of the in
ring stuff has been during his absence and thought “that’s for me that is, set
me a place cause i’m comin tae dine out on this wrasslin brawness” My favourite
wee spot from this match was when it looks like Christian is gaun for the
crossbody, but he spots Orton oot the corner of his eye setting up for the RKO
and stops himself. I dunno why I liked that so much, it just gied me a tingly
feeling in ma nether regions. Randy did eventually hit that RKO outta naewhere
but, and picked up the win. Gid match, if a bit of a predictable outcome.
Next up was a wee
Dolph Ziggler promo. He’s my favourite, he’s your favourite, we’re aw high aff
Dolph. His promos aren't his strong point, but they are far fae a weakness anaw.
Improving aw the time, needs to get to the point a wee bit quicker, but
ultimately the point in his yin is that he’s coming for that belt. That’s whit I like tae hear ya big slick lookin cunt ye, you get yersell tae the Money In
The Bank, and get that shimmering gold back roon yer waist.
Dolph Ziggler vs Drew Mctinyre
Ach I suppose its good
that it wisnae a complete squasher eh? Drew had some good moments, particularly
a couple of brutal looking backbreakers, and considering his standing in the
company right now, this will dae him no harm. He of course ended up losing
after the Ziggmeister got him wae the Zig Zag, and Ziggler battered 3MB for the
second consecutive show. It bothers me a wee bit just how much of a tragic
group of jobbers they are cause Drew can fuckin go, and Heath can take a bump
wae the best of them, but such is life, theres a CM Punk match comin up so I
wisnae too cut up about it eh.
Fandango vs Justin Gabriel
Another very talented
guy who is extremely underutilised. Infact when it comes tae Gabriel, it’s more
a case of never utilised and often assumed dead. He isnae dead, but his chances
of a push have been for a long time, and he loses tae that dropkick aff the top
rope. Fuck know what the score is with Fandango, I honestly widnae be shocked
if he comes from naewhere and takes the WH Title MITB match, hope no but, they
need tae get him back to his more sinister persona before they give him a push like that.
CM Punk vs Alberto Del Rio
Heyman is ordered to
provide commentary, so much like RAW when Jericho made a wee guest commentary
appearance, it wisnae a complete set of bawbags at the announce desk. This
match was fuckin good, I mean compare it to that sloppy shiter ADR served up
wae Cena, its in another fuckin realm. Proof that ADR and Cena can have great
matches, but only if there is someone great tae bring them up a few levels.
Really enjoyable match, with a bit of a flat finish, when ADR gies Heyman a wee
dunt, and CM Punk loses the place and knocks his smarmy cunt in. Double count
out. Punk drags ADR intae the ring and hits the GTS anyway for a giggle.
Overall I fair enjoyed it. There was nae segments that made we wish I would erode fae the inside out, so that makes it my favorite wrasslin show of the week. 7.5 superplexes outta 12.
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