Opening promo between the Shield and Punk jist aboot had me on the floor wae excitement. Punk and Ambrose has the potential to one day be one of the best singles feuds in history in terms of mic work, and they're fuckin good in the ring together tae. On this occasion however, its yer Seth Rollins who gets the nod tae face Punk one-on-one. I got the impression with how strong my man Seth wis lookin that Punk might have been putting him over clean. A decision I wid have had many erections for, but it didnae pan oot. Some Shield interference, and a GTS later and its lights oot. Wonderful way tae start the show though.
Orton will defend the belt against Cena at the Rumble. Stephanie McMahon looked mighty fine in them jeans. Ass up from the calves up.
Ziggler beats Axel in a stoater of a 5 minute match. One thing ye cannae question about Axel is his in ring ability, but there are many things ye can question, including his paternity, and if he's ever strung a sentence together that anycunt cared aboot. I find it very difficult to dislike any wrestler who can work, but theres something aboot him and his smug melt that just bothers me. I'd love it if we went away, or became the third cunt tae kid on hes Sin Cara, cause at least that wid mean we widnae need tae see his face.
Big E beats Fandango in an IC Title match, and it wis so braw, I curled intae a wee baw n recited poetry tae mysell whilst weeping softly. Big E's tits, Fandangos shimmering chest, and Summer Rae bein pretty much in the scud made this extremely erotic tae. Gid fuckin show fae all involved.
An odd Hogmanay party segment where Booker T appears tae steaminly stick his boaby in Justin Gabriels ear. It wis really odd cause its no New Years Eve yet, but then Bad News Barrett saved the whole hing by descending fae the fuckin floor next tae the stage and gien us some sterling patter. As much as I miss big Wade in the ring, Bad News Barrett is one of my favourite character re-inventions in years. In terms of taking an established cunt and making him fresh. Braw. Hopefully it leads tae a push in a wrasslin capacity soon.
Sandow says if he loses the night he'll quit. He beats Khali in what was actually a passable match. Khali has never been better in the ring, and whilst that still means hes utter dross, he can at least look capable of standing upright these days. Sandow working him as well as he did tells ye aw ye need tae know aboot that beautiful bearded man. Stoatin.
Truth n Broadus. Utter tripe. Naecunt gives a fuck about any of this. Truth won cause Broadus got distracted by his ain theme music again. I don't even know....
BROCK LESNAR! The beast is fuckin back baby! Paul Heyman cuts a belter of a promo on his behalf, before Brock takes the mic himself and actually done no bad apart fae one wee botch. He challenges anycunt in the back tae come oot n face him, and after kidding on he wis Santa last week, none other than the bold Mark Henry emerges. I cannae really describe how fuckin intae this I wis, and that's fairly remarkable considering I couldnae gie two shites about either of them until earlier this year. Mark Henrys promo work and Brock vs Punk made them two of my favourite cunts but, and watching Brock drive my big pal Mark through a barricade and F5 him wis fuckin wonderful. I suspect it wont lead tae an actual feud right enough. Mark seems tae huv just been a big cunt for Brock tae leather. Brock also says he disnae need tae win the Rumble tae be number one contender, but he kinda does. Sorry tae break it tae ye kiddo.
10 diva tag match. Aksana got the pin and Eva Marie wis there. I cannae bring mysell tae watch these matches tbh. No unless its dense wae gid wrastlers, and unfortunately there isnae enough talented lassies on the main roster tae even fill wan team up with gid wrestlers so aye, it is whit it is. Although it wid be hard for it tae be whit it wisnae, ye know? naw, me neither brother.
Daniel Bryan has a simple wee task tae end the show. Nae problem. Aw he had tae do wis beat Erick Rowan and Luke Harper in singles matches, fur a wee shot at Bray Wyatt. He duly obliges, working a 10-15 minutes stoater wae Harper, and a decent wee 5 minute effort wae Rowan anaw, which included Rowan hittin a middle rope fall away slam which hud me up on my chair reciting lyrics tae The Logical Song in a beautiful falsetto. When Bray enters the ring, DBry is out on his feet, and Harper and Rowan attack him fur the DQ. It seems that no matter whit Daniel Bryan does he wont ever get a fair shot at Bray.
Bray gives him one last chance to repent. One last chance to heed his beautiful words and join the family. Bray can make the pain go away. He just needs Bryan to take his hand, and dye know whit? he fuckin done it. After weeks of torture. Weeks of physical and mental suffering, Daniel Bryan finally realised that nae matter how loud they cheer, and how many t-shirts he sells, they'll never let him get tae where he wants to be. The Authority will never gie him the position he deserves. After struggling tae his feet, DBry is hit wae Sister Abigail and that seems tae be his initiation. He's finally one of the boayzies and I'll tell ye suhin else, I fuckin love it. It makes a lot of hings clearer n kinda indicates this has been the plan all along. Even wee things like Kane joining up wae The Authority are clearer noo, considering Kane wis The Wyatts first target. I suspect he'll be the one they go after first and it'll aw lead tae Bray and the boayz helping Bryan take his rightful place at the top of the fuckin tree. That might be me jist chuckin oot some blind optimism right enough, but I can only hope this development leads tae aw the belts gaun tae aw the beards. I cannae allow mysell tae think otherwise.
Overall a fuckin stoater of a RAW tae end the year. Some braw wrasslin, and the Lesnar/Henry stuff and the Bryan finale were such stauner inducing beauties. Too gid. I'll try n review it properly later in the week but fur now I'm gien it 8 F5s oota 10. Send it.
A wee sidenote since this is my last blog of the year. I want tae thank everyone who's read/RT'd/commented on my stuff and helped this wee page become so popular. 19 thousand views in 6 months is pretty fuckin gid I think, and I'm fair proud of it. I'd also like tae thank the folk who inspire and support me every day. That's enough ae the sappy patter right. Wrasslin n that eh. Ye cannae whack it, even if ye hud a tenny racket meht.
Happy new year tae yees aw. Here's two of Foleys faces.
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