Daniel Bryan vs Erick Rowan
I know its because they seem to want Unification talk to close the show these days, but still. If your show starts with Daniel Bryan in a match, then its a show I'm going watch with heart palpitations. A big bearhug fro Rowan, is countered with a missile dropkick from DBry as business started to pick-up. We got chest kicks from Bryan, followed by the big roundhouse to the side of Rowans dome. Then Harper jumped on the apron and caught a dropkick for his troubles, before DBry slips out of a powerslam attempt, and runs the ropes, eventually hitting Harper with a suicide dive. He then pulls the bottom rope down on Rowan and looks to be going for the double suicide dive, but Bray trips him n that's game, set and match. Bryan wins by DQ. Had the feeling that with Bray out there this wasn't going to end cleanly.
Bray settles back into his seat, seemingly prepared to watch his minions knock Bryan stupid but Danny turns the tables! Evades their attacks, before fleeing to the outside a knocking Bray right out his chair with a flyin knee! Magnificent.
Goldust and Cody Rhodes vs The Real Americans
13 minutes into the show and I'd already seen Daniel Bryan, The Wyatts, Goldust, Cody and Cesaro. Smackdown was spoling us this week! Nice armdrag takedown from Goldy on Cesaro. These two need to have a singles match asap.Cody dodges the Swagger Bomb, and gets to Goldy for a tag, before Goldy unleashes all the classics. Uppercut to the jaw, inverted atomic drop, and a wee spinebuster, but Cesaro gets a blind tag during the whole routine, and in comes the big guy. Cesaro sends Goldust to the outside, and nearly takes his beautiful gold head off with a brutal clothesline, and when we get back from the break, even Swagger's kicking poor Goldys head in. Cesaro gets in and gets to uppecuttin, before sending Goldy in Swaggers direction for a wonderful belly to belly suplex. Goldust gives us a selling masterclass here, because he manages to fight back, but he looks totally out of it whilst doing so. Hits a shoulderblock off the second rope and that gives him an opening for a tag, but he just cant move...he finally crawls to the corner and Cody gets in there with Cesaro. Alabama Slam from Cody is delivered and he goes for the cover, but Tony reaches the bottom rope before the three count. Cesaro ducks the disaster kick and goes for the swings, but Goldy stops it, before Cesaro sent him fleeing out of the ring, then gets caught with a second attempt at the disaster kick. Swagger breaks up the pin attempt, and Cody sends them both outside, before hitting a springboard crossbody. He then goes up top lookin to put the Real Americans to bed, but Swagger tickles his leg, and off that distraction Cesaro hits an unspeakably brilliant Uppercut from the top rope to give The Real Americans a win over the tag champs.
Bad News Barrett time? starting to properly love this new gimmick. I popped hard when the crowd are getting unruly and he called for "Decorum please!" before delivering this weeks bad news. The bad news is that we're all a bunch of losers, who are forced to live vicariously through a winner like Bad News Barrett, which is the fairest point any human has ever made.
Mark Henry vs Damien Sandow
Big E on commentary here. This Smackdown is too good. Mark Henry dumps Sandow on the outside, before askin him is "that's all you got?" and eh...well it was. He took the countout, whilst pointing to Big E, signifying that he wont have the energy to wrestle two guys that could deadlift a Range Rover in the space of a few days, so he'll save his energies for Big E at TLC on Sunday. Big E sends Damo back into the ring for a big splash off Mark, before the intellectual saviour of the masses gets himself outta there. Big E chases efter him but we never did get to see if he caught him. That'll keep me up at night.
Tamina and AJ vs The Smellas
In too good a mood to pay full attention tae the work of The Smellas, so I'll tell you how it ended. Brie Smella tapped to the Black Widow after some shenanigans that involved the Bellas stumbling about looking drunk. Natty was on commentary, and was a goddess as always./
Jahnnnn Ceeeeeeeeena promo. His promo to end RAW was a belt, but I prefer it when he has someone to interact with in a promo. This is decent for a solo one though, some of his solo ones have been awful in the past. He says Orton has a glass jaw. Johnny Cena's gonna tap that jaw. He says if Orton gets hit with a chair, or gets put through a table, that's him done. If it happens to Cena HE GETS BACK UP! and he yammers on like that for a wee while longer. The champ is here. Etc etc. This was Cena by numbers tbh, wasn't feeling it much apart from the glass jaw crack.
Rollins and Reigns vs The Usos
A wee leapfrog from Rollins is followed by an uppercut from Jimmy or Jey. Reigns gets in and almost decapitates his cousin..Jimmy or perhaps Jey, who knows? it was an Uso shaped man, and he was in a chinlock. Then he got floored with a clothesline, making it a fairly traumatic 20 second period for the poor lad. Rollins gets tagged in, and attempts a double team with Reigns, but JeyMaybeJimmy kicks Reigns in the head, sends Rollins flyin over the top rope, before planting his cousin on the dome with a spike DDT. Uppercut from Jimmy, before het tosses Rollins in the air and catches him with the Samoan Drop. Then a whole lot of activity occurred that I struggled to keep up with, but the main hing you should take from this, is that Rollins gets majorly cheeky with a wee CM Punk impression as he signals its time fur Jimmy or Jey to go to sleep, but instead of delivering a GTS, he sends an Uso right into big Romans path for another vertebrae shatterer of a spear. Lights out. Shield get the win.
CM Punk promo backstage. He talks about exposing The Shields weaknesses, and pretty much looks as menacing as a man can look while taping his hands up. Ends it by urging us all to "Believe! in the best in the world!" I saw his face. Now I'm a believer.
Ryback vs Big Show
Properly good episode of Smackdown this had been. Then this happened. This was a lot better than I expected when it happened on RAW, but I cant even begin to explain how little I cared about it this time. Only happened to set up a wee flurry of action at the end to help build up the recently announced Fatal 4 Way match for the tag belts at TLC. Show puts Ryback to bed with a chokeslam, Axel gets fresh and gets 619'ed off Rey then knocked clean out by Show.
Ooft I didnt think we were getting storytime wae Bray this week! but there he is on the titantron. Screaming about how he's been such a fool to put his neck on the line for Daniel Bryan. He's going make him walk with the reaper and leave this world behind. Spine tingling stuff.
Kofi was supposed to wrestle Del Rio, but Miz attacked him from behind and it never happened. Such a waste of time, it was almost obscene.
The show ended with Orton trudging out to apologise tae The Authority for knocking Steph out on RAW. I loved the end of RAW cbeause it managed tae pull al the potentially explosive elements of this TLC match into one neat package bu when you separate them? Snoozeworthy. Triple H is there. The Daniel Bryan chants start again because the fans DEMAND he returns to the mountain top. Trips ends it with an open ended statement about him "knowing where their faith lies"
Loved the first hour and a half of Smackdown this week, but the last half hour was the most futile waist of anyones time in the prestigious history of time wasting. So for that reason, this weeks Smackdown drops back to a moderate 7 tiger suplexes oota 10
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