Weekly wrasslin shows starting with a match is so rare these days. As long as its a braw match, its by far and away my favourite way for a show to start. Gets the viewer engaged right away, here we go folks, its wrasslin time! Nane of yer 45 minute Cena promos, or Micheal Cole readin oot emails. Down tae business.
Paige vs Emma (NXT Women's title Match)
Fuckin loved this. Emma's entrance feels like whit I imagine an acid trip would be like at a childrens birthday party. Shes fae another dimension so she is, and I'm heavy intae it. Paige is aw business but, nane of the dancing malarkey fae her (a pity, cause that erse is due a wee shake) The match had a nice pace to it, and for the most part Emma had the upper hand which was a surprise. Had Paige in the DilEmma on the ropes for a bit. Paige rallies but and hits the Paige Turner tae become the first ever NXT Womens Champ. Only a matter of time afore she's on the main roster gien the Divas division a shot in the arm (although that's a job which could also be done by pushing Natalya, but thats a story for another day eh) Oh and Triple H comes out and raises her hand, totally fuckin hoggin the limelight for nae reason ataw. Fuckin time tae play the game mate, that game should be scrabble on yer phone as ye stay backstage and oot ma face.
Tyler Breeze vs A Jobber
Fuckin utter shanner of a gimmick. Cunt that takes selfies during his entrance. Away n fuckin fry shite and eat it ya pleb. I cannae mind the jobbers name that he wrestled ataw, think it was Angelo suhin; and I honestly think I slipped intae a catatonic state for a short while during this, such was my disgust for this gimmick, but aye Tyler Breeze won after a pretty nice spinning heel kick. Still want tae grate his stupid face for him but.
The Ascension vs Two Pub Doormen
This is my main issue with NXT. Its usually a great show, full of excellent wrestlers, but whits the fuckin point in using aw these jobbers ataw? I mean if you need folk to job, use folk like Hawkins, JTG and Yoshi Tatsu and at least give them some exposure. The Ascension are a fuckin properly creepy pair of cunts, and O'Brien in particular looks like he has a huge future, but how battering a couple of rough as fuck jobbers will help them, I dont know. One of the jobbers disnae even get in the ring actually. Ascension win and then stare intae space for ages.
Sheamus vs Luke Rowan
I was quite interested in how this one would go, cause despite my rampant enthusiasm for the Wyatt Family, I'm a bit unsure of just how good Rowan and Harper are in the ring. They have the perfect look to fit the gimmick, but are yees any good at the wrasslin guys? I'm afraid to say, for me anyway, this match was a bit of a snoozer. Nuhin much really happened know? just two big lumps thumpin each other, and then Sheamus also thumps Harper for a bit. Fairly boring stuff. The most interesting part of the whole saga, was bray Wyatts reaction after Sheamus gets the win wae the Brogue kick. Cunt just laughs his heid aff. Absolutely fuckin killing it as this character so he is, cannae believe he came from the same bawsack as Bo Dallas. It defies aw logic.
Overall a below par NXT if ye ask me. The womens title match was a stoater and undoubtedly should have been the main event. The rest was a bit shite. Brad Maddox was on commentary anaw, and sweated right through a mink coat.
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