I've never been the type of cunt tae wish days aff the calendar. It's never been something I'm intae, but ever since I flipped the page tae August of this year, I've done nothing but wish the days away. Cause August is the backdrop for ICW's biggest event tae date. Dave's Not Here Man. I'm (outskirts of) Glesga born n bred so I uhm. Proud of it tae, but for one night only Edinburgh is gonnae be my home. How could it no be? aside fae my maw, it will contain aw my favourite people in the world. My pals, hunners of ICW fans, and of course Grado and Colt Cabana.
Tidy.
James Scott vs Jimmy Havoc
Interested tae see how this one plays out. Purely because I think James Scott is naturally turning face. He's been over as fuck at the past 2 shows I've attended and for me anyway, he just works as a face. His annoying heel routine is awrite, but its had its day. I want tae have an "I'm a James Scott guy" tap covering my upper torso asap wae "WINARRR" on the back sooner rather than later. Aye though, should be a braw match. Both very talented workers, Havoc is particularly underrated in that regard imo. Seen as more of a deathmatch wrestler, but he can go. I expect Scott to win clean, and his face turn to be completed at Fear and Loathing at the ABC .
The Bucky Boys vs Fight Club vs The Coffeys vs Team CK (Tag Title Match)
Never been a fan of these matches. Always feel a bit overbooked tae me, but I understand its a consequence of having so many great teams and not wanting to leave any of them off such a significant card. Nae offence tae the Beiber boys but, it would have been much better if it wis a triple threat match between the rest of the teams. Mibbe have them later in the card as cannon fodder for the NAK or somethin ;) Nah but, I think it'll be decent early card filler, but nothing that I'm gaun fae 6 tae midnight about tbh. Buckys retain, and face the Summerian Death Squad in a TLC match at Fear and Loathing.
Sabu vs Jack Jester (Deathmatch)
Cannae shake the feeling that the NAK will ruin this. It'll be fuckin brutal right enough. I can see some eye popping spots happening here, and poorly signposted streets of Edinburgh will be awash wae blood. Widnae be shocked if they have a brutal 10 minute war, before the NAK descend on the ring and batter them baith. Then it turns intae a 3 on 2 war, wae Sabu and Jester forming a team of stone cold killers. Its my hope that we see at least one member of NAK go through a flaming table. (safely of course, cause safety first...then team-work) If that disnae happen, and the match goes ahead as planned, I reckon Jester gets the win. Widnae make sense otherwise really, as ye have to assume Sabu probably wont be back for a re-match. Thats assuming he leaves Scotland alive after this yin.
Leah Owens vs Nikki Storm (Bra and Panties Match)
Anyone who cries this sexist or whitever is tellin ye porkies meht. Trying tae appear noble for the sake of it. I actually reckon we'll get something of a decent wrestling match here, cause both these ladies can fuckin go, but it disnae hurt that they're both braw does it? and that we'll likely see one, if not both of them in their skants. I'm pitchin aw sortsa trouser tents at the prospect. I reckon Nikki will win right enough, probably wae some interference fae the Save Pro Wrestling movement.
Kaylee Ray vs Carmel Jacob (Last Woman Standing match for the ICW FF Title)
This is a different kettle of fish aw the gether. Could quite easily steal the show if their previous matches are anything to go by. Two immensely talented female wrestlers, but with two completely different styles anaw. Kaylee more of the high flying, high octane style, and Carmel more of a mat wrestler. This will be a fuckin stoater. I expect it tae go 20-30 minutes easy, and I actually think Carmel will go over for once. Either way I'd be happy with the outcome here tough. In fact the only outcome I widnae like wid be if they wound up in their skants, cause despite promptly tuckin that image in the spank bank for later, I reckon it wid detract from the undoubtedly brilliant wrestling match which will unfold.
Noam Dar vs Andy Wild
Honestly, if I could turn the beautiful shit these two are gonnae produce intae a powder and shove it up ma beak, I totally wid. I don't take drugs either mate, but this is one drug I wid most certainly make an exception for. Its a wee bit daft that it isn't for the Zero-G belt but I reckon Dar might have been booked to win that at the last show had he not been injured. Still though, this is another potential show stealer. Whoever wins will be thrust straight intae the ICW Title picture. Nae danger. Dar should get the win here, and will most likely be the next opponent for the ICW Champ, whoever that may be.
Wolfgang vs Mickey Whiplash (Champion vs Champion match for both the Zero-G and ICW Titles)
My baws are positively tingling for this. Wolfgang is my favourite guy in ICW. Never seen him have anything which even approaches a bad match since I started going a year ago. His match wae Fergal Devitt was near perfect, but for me that's recently been overtaken by that fuckin feast for the eyes he served up wae Solar a few months back. Whippy is at the very top of his game, and his last 3 matches (2 vs Dynamite and the Grado one) have been 3 of my all-time favourites. The Dynamite matches were just perfect in terms of pure wrestling, and the Grado match told a tear inducing beautiful story. I don't think I've ever been as intae anything as I was when I watched that match. Just couldnae take my eyes off it for a second.
I reckon this will be a memorable encounter, but something tells me that its my man Wolfys time, and he'll take his rightful spot at the top of the ICW ladder by becoming the new champion. Mibbe a re-match wae Devitt for the belt at Fear and Loathing? we can but hope.
Grado vs Colt Cabana
Good god in heaven. I cannae even tell ye how excited I am for this. Nut. I just cannae. Its too much for my wee brain to process. I must have watched both episodes of Grado and Colt at least 5 times each, and each time I found somethin mare hilarious than the last viewing. This will be nae joke match though, as charismatic and entertaining as both of these men are, they can both fuckin wrestle, and will undoubtedly want to put on a show that lives uptae everyones fuckin sky high expectations. I fully expect tae hear some thunderous "COLT CABANA" ..."IT'S YERSEL" chants, and if they dont happen, I'll be fuckin startin them. Colt seems like a sound cunt. A guy ye'd enjoy going for a few jars, and a game of snooker wae, so for that reason I'm sayin he'll put Grado over, and the fuckin roof will flee clean aff the Picture House. In fact Ediburgh as a city will implode and aw that remains will be IC-fuckin-DUB.
We also have the wildcard of the much anticpated debut of David The Beloved, which should be interesting regardless. I have a sneaky wee feeling it might be a re-packaged William Grange who emerges, but thats just a daft hunch. Also widnae be surprised if we get a suprise match involving Jackie Polo and Lionheart, and that would just round the card out nicely if ye ask me.
Overall I fully anticipate this being one of, if not the best night of my life. Mibbe that makes my life tae this point a bit shite eh? but we'll no dwell on that. I'll see aw yer gorgeous smiling faces in our nations capital eh. For aw my Glesga punters, and those fae other non Embra areas, lets go forth and fuck shit up.
Colt Cabana.
It's Yersel.
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