Cards on the table, I'd slept mibbe 8 hours in the 3 days prior to watching this, and I was still greetin about Ziggler dropping the belt, so I seen the first hour of this through the eyes of a grumpy cynical cunt. If that cynicism peppers the first part of this review, ye've been warned.
The show opened with the man naecunt was excited to see, yer Alberto Del Rio. He's a heel now btw, incase you hadnt gathered that from him turning heel, and then confirming said heel turn 5 minutes after his match at Payback, he confirmed it again here, so he really is a heel again troops, are we all as hert sick as I am about it? Thought as much. He yammered on for a wee while before being interrupted by CM Punk, who cut a scathing promo on ADRs cowardly actions of the night before, one they promos that feels like Punk is shooting, as there was genuine angst in his tone when he said Ziggler was robbed and was due a rematch before Punk would be considered a WHC contender. It was like he had never been away, and he challenged ADR to a match later that night. Match was confirmed by Vickie Guerrero, and that was that.
Next up was supposed to be Wade Barrett vs Curtis Axel, but Vickie appeared AGAIN to deliver the earth shattering news that infact it would be Barrett against...
Christian vs Wade Barrett
Great to see Christian back, but you have to wonder where he'll fit in. He'll more than likely turn in some great matches, but character wise he has to re-establish himself asap, I cannae even remember what he had on the go before his injury tbh. Decent wee match, with Christian getting the win. Barrett also officially confirmed his status as a jobber, and is on the shortlist to replace Jinder when he eventually leaves 3MB to get that inevitable World Title push.
Cannae mind if this was before or after the Christian match tbh, but Punk told Heyman backstage that he didnt want him at ringside for his matches anymore. After having a wee fall out during the ADR/Punk promo, he has decided to go it alone, and ended by saying "he'll always be a Paul Heyman guy" whilst telling Heyman he...eh...didnae really want to be a Paul Heyman guy anymore.
Team Rhodes Scholars vs Sheamus (Handicap Match)
Perhaps a result of the aforementioned cynicism but I just wisnae really into this. It was awrite, and refreshing to see Rhodes Scholars win, but that's about it
Daniel Bryan vs Randy Orton (No DQ Match)
I hoped this would be great. I thought it might snap Orton out of his funk, but it was underwhelming really. The bulk of the early part of it was Orton laying in to Bryan on the ground, which isnt really the best way to utilise Bryans considerable talents. It picked up a bit, but the match was ended abruptly, Bryan seemingly unable to continue through injury. With Orton seeminlgy breaking kayfabe to make sure if Bryan was awrite, there was rumours floating around that the injury was legit, but dinnae worry, he's fine.
Next up was a fucking colossal waste of everyones time, designed to make Stephanie Mcmahon look good for some fuckin reason. Essentially she interrupted a potentially good promo between AJ and Kaitlynn to scald them both. Garbage.
Dean Ambrose vs Kane
This bugged me anaw. Booked in US Title matches with Kane on consecutive nights and Ambrose didnt pin him? Dont see the point in that. Kane should be doing the good deed as a veteran and putting Ambrose over. Hopefully this is the end of this wee feud, and its onwards and upwards for Ambrose. Kane wins due to interference from Rollins and Reigns.
William Regal vs Antonio Cesaro
Finally something to lift the cloud of negativity that had hovered over my Raw experience tae this point. So much "yass" in the equation here its no even real. First and foremost the announcement that Antonio Cesaro had aligned himself with Zeb Coulter. It also seems that he'll imitating Jack Swaggers angle with Zeb, and aw that "we the people" patter, which will likely be hilarious. Sky's the limit for the Swiss sensation now. The match was braw aswell. Just a wee 10 minute spell of non stop goodness, with Cesaro winning.
Next up Cena appeared to cut the same promo he always does after every PPV. Just as he was done sending folk to sleep, Mark Henry appeared to apparently confirm rumours that he was set to retire, and gave us a fantastic heartfelt speech. Welling up so I wis. Him and Cena embrace as he brings his speech to a close, only for Sexual Chocolate tae deliver the seldom seem WORLDS STRONGEST SLAM OUTTA NOWHERE. Anyone who says they didnae buy in to the Henry retirement speech is a fuckin rampant liar, but aye, apparently he's no quite done yet. He's coming for that belt.
Chris Jericho vs Heath Slater
More filler I wisnae intae tbh. Jericho hit some codebreakers on 3MB, won the match, went hame. Yawn.
Curtis Axel vs Sin Cara
A short, but actually very decent match. The Miz was on commentary though, so that put a dampener on it right away. There's obviously someone with some influence who thinks this cunt is good on the mic, which makes me think maybe he'll find a permanent home as a commentator soon and that gies me the fear. Axel won with the spike DDT.
Alberto Del Rio vs CM Punk
An enjoyable match between these two, although Punk could have wrestled Curt Hawkins with one arm tied behind his back and it would have looked great after what felt like a fuckin lifetime away from Raw. Its braw tae have ye back son, mutton chops n'aw. It came to a close with Punk hitting the GTS and ADR rolling to the outside, seemingly content to take the count out loss, he made his way up the ramp only for ZIGGLER to come outta nowhere to knock fuck out him. Del Rio seemingly got away, but Ziggler was in hot pursuit, so I can only imagine he caught him backstage and continued the assault, hopefully knocking the glaikit aff Del Rios coupon. Punk wins.
That appeared to be that, but with Punk standing triumphant as the victor, he was interrupted by BARACK LEZNUR. He appeared without Heyman and with a mic in hand, seemingly tae give Punk and earful about cutting their shared manager loose, but of course he done no such thing, cause that would require having a basic command of the English Language. Instead he done what he does best, and ruined Punks shit with a nailer of an F5. One thing I noticed in Lesnar is that he looked fuckin happy to be there for the first time since this run began. I think he finally has a feud that he wont be involved in solely because the he's being paid an obscene amount of money for it. I was wondering what was next for Punk aswell, and I am more than happy if this is it for him for the rest of this year, if we get a few great matches between them. Then perhaps a Rumble win for Punk? aye, that would be most gid. Most gid indeed.
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