I'll get the negative bit oot the way first, I was a wee bit miffed by the omission of a few people when the card was announced. Namely Kaylee Ray and Joe Coffey. Kaylee a particularly strange omission, having been part of one of the best matches of the night at Oran War; but Joe is perhaps the most startling one, as he has solidified his status as one of the best in Scotland over the past year. His dark, brooding persona combined with his proficient in ring ability make him one of the top young wrestlers Scotland has ever produced, with a chance to go as far as he wants in the business. So why not have him on a show of this magnitude? A show designed to bring Scottish Wrestling to a new audience, it is the duty of the promoter to show them the best we have to offer, and if Joe Coffey isnae involved, you simply aren't doing that.
We have been promised surprises right enough, so heres hoping its been a ruse all along and both Joe and Kaylee are booked in some capacity, mibbe a wee surprise inter-gender match considering Coffey's penchant for delivering lariats to the fairer sex.
That's the negative bit out the road, on to what should be a braw night.
Davey Blaze vs BT Gunn
The reason I didnt mention Stevie Boy in the first part regarding folk who should be booked, is because I think this will be a tag match. Chris Renfrew was originally a part of Team Florence at Oran War before his heel turn, and Florence spoke of him being dropped due to a change in his attitude, so I reckon he'll interfere on behalf of his pal BT Gunn in this one, Stevie will rush out to help his fellow Bucky Boy, and it'll be made a tag match. That might just be a result of my over active imagination but, and if its a singles match I think it'll be decent. Will be good to see what Davey can do in a singles match against someone as good as BT, but I cant see past a BT Gunn win (or a BT Gunn and Renfrew win if my earlier prediction comes tae fruition)
Making it Team Hemphill 1 Team Florence 0
Nikki Storm vs Carmel
I had only seen Storm wrestle once before Oran War, so I was blown away by her performance that night against Kaylee Ray. For me it was the second best match of the night, so I reckoned they'd go again at Kelvin Brawl. This match should be good anaw right enough, Carmel is another very talented wrestler, but I cannae see a downside to booking Kaylee again. Even putting her with Carmel against Nikki and one of the plethora of other talented females we have (Bette Noir, Viper and aw that team) So aye, I reckon this will be good, but an opportunity missed to really showcase the depth of talented females we have. Nikki Storm for the win.
Team Hemphill 1 Team Florence 1
Jack Jester vs James Scott (No DQ Match)
Perhaps the most interesting match on the card. The No DQ stipulation is due to Scott attacking a "fan" at Oran War and being DQ'd but the percentage of the crowd that will remember that probably wont be high. Should be a good match, but I hope it disnae descend into a hardcore scrap because these two are more than capable of producing a great match without having to take daft bumps. I reckon James Scott will win, with some creative move involving that double stomp aff the top rope, and some kind of weapon on Jesters coupon.
Scores on the doors - Team Hemphill 1 Team Florence 2
Battle of Britain
Johnny Moss vs Kid Fite
Cannae go that "Battle of Britain" patter, even in fitba it grinds my gears, but I'll tell ye this for free, this match will probably be very good. Great. Superb. The battle of talented wrestlers I'm gonnae call it instead. Mossys match with Grado at Oran War was a great laugh, and showed another side to the usually very business like Mossy, but it'll be back to his usual mix of power moves and gie'in everyone in the room a large dose of the fear. Cannae see past a win for Johnny Moss.
Team Hemphill 2 Team Florence 2
Liam Thomson vs Wolfgang
Looking forward to this one. Two of the most consistently impressive performers in Scotland clashing in what could be a contender for Match of The Night. Noam Dar vs Lionheart will take some topping no doubt, but these two have the ability to give them a run for their money. I expect a belter of a match which swings back and forth, but ends with Wolfgang picking up the win.
Making it Team Hemphill 2 Team Florence 3
With the scores uneven going in to the main event of the Team Hemphill vs Team Florence thing, it makes me think that there will be a surprise match in the mix somewhere. Might even mean one of the matches earlier ending in a no contest, but I hope its a surprise match. Theres too many talented wrestlers not on the card for me to believe that they simply haven't been booked. I want tae believe I'm being tricked. I want to believe that hard working talented wrestlers arent being overlooked because they urnae pals with the celebrity protagonists in this drama. We shall see if that proves to be the case eh, in the fantasy world I live in, I see The Coffeys (Not entirely sure if Mark Coffey is back from Japan yet) against Kaylee Ray and Mikey Whiplash. Giving us the perfect mix of gid wrestling, beards, and inter-gender beat downs. Perfect.
Kelvin Hall Memorial Match
Noam Dar vs Lionheart
The match between these two at Oran War was one of the best matches I've seen anywhere, so this match makes sense on so many levels. Separating it from the "Team Florence/Hemphill" thing was a great decision aswell, giving the Kelvin Hall a respectful send off by allowing two of the top wrestlers this country has ever produced to do their thing. Jim Watt will present a trophy to the winner tae, which is a nice touch considering how much of the Kelvin Brawl's storied history is down to him. Lionheart has been retired since December, but will no doubt have been training hard for this, so I doubt he'll have any ring rust. For me though, this match will mark the final passing of the torch from one generation of Scottish wrestling to the next and Noam Dar will prevail after a 20 minute wrestling masterclass.
Grado and Rab Florence vs Red Lightning and Greg Hemphill
I'll admit I was skeptical to Florence and Hemphills involvement in the ring, but the build up to this match has sold me on the idea. For a start it will bring people through the door that simply want to see two folk they know off the tele knock each other stupid, but also some of the promos in the build up have been excellent. Hemphills harassment of Florences frail wee mammy was spine chilling stuff, particularly when he "broke in" to her house while she was there and used her stairlift to get to Rabs old room for a wee snoop about (leaving the stairlift at the top of the stairs for good measure, the devious cunt)
They also rolled out the old routine at the contract signing, when Florence attacked Hemphill, and Greg returned the favour on their recent appearence on Scotland Tonight, throwing a glass of water in Rabs face when they were supposedly having a gentlemanly handshake. All good fun, and good for the promotion of the show but the real stars of the show are Grado and Red Lightning. Both shone in the wee video Scotland Tonight showed of the training regime Florence and Hemphill have gone through, and Grado in particular has released a hilarious video aimed at Hemphill.
Their true talent will shine through in the ring though, and in terms of an unpalatable heel vs widely loved face, there is no better dynamic in Scotland than Red Lightning vs Grado.
Red is the best on the mic in this country by a mile, and Grado's likeability factor is sky high, so I'm looking forward to seeing them do battle again. Another interesting dynamic is the one between the "enforcers" of the two teams, Rab opting for veteran wrestler Adam Shame, and Hemphill going for brains over brawn with C.P.T. It'll be interesting to see how their involvement plays out.
Genuinely have no idea with regards to the outcome of this one. If there is to be another Team Florence vs Team Hemphill night, it would make sense for Gregs team to win, and that event being the decider, but if not, I reckon Team Florence will win again. After all, with this being the Kelvin Brawls big send off, wouldn't it make sense for it to end wae a party? As much as I'd respect a Lightning and Hemphill victory, having them snarl at us and caw us dicks wouldn't be the best way to say farewell to the old place. So that's why I predict a win for Grado and Florence. Giving Team Florence the overall win.
So in conclusion, a smashin night filled with great wrestling and hopefully plenty of laughs. Whats not to love? if yer on the fence about getting yersell along, just dae it. Dont even think about it, just dae it. Lets share this night together. Me and you. Mon.
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