ICW - Flava In Yer Ear Review

I'm no long hame and my heids burstin but fuck it, here are my slightly drunken recollections from ICW - Flava In Yer Ear.

Team CK vs Divers and Maverick

Ach I thought this would be mid card filler, so tbh I was pleasantly surprised with want went on here. Both teams had their intros, and both attempted to get a reaction from the crowd. Divers had comically multicoloured gear on. Gear that screamed "Im a face, honestly.... my gear looks like a pick n mix so I must be a good guy!" but he isnae, he isnae a good guy at all. Yon NAK boys came out from the back, and halted this potential match, before Maverick, assuming they were there for him, told Divers to get tae. Divers duly obliged as the NAK circled, only for him to "dive" back in and the jig was well and truly up, to cut a long story short here, Divers is the mystery NAK member, and the three of them took great pleasure in ruining Mavericks shit. Until they were brought to a halt by Jack Jester and Jimmy Havoc, who felt that BT Gunn taking a pair of scissors to Mavericks napper was the breaking point after the NAK battering fuck out him for a few minutes beforehand. Jester was basically like that "I AINT HAVIN THAT" as he tossed a chair from the ring to Renfrews (who was on the outside) napper. It landed perfectly. and that was that. On to the next one.

ICW ZERO-G Title
Wolfgang vs Solar

I will admit to the pin being stuck in my balloon a wee bit by hearing Noam Dar wouldnt be fit for this event and his match with Wolfgang being cancelled. I thought this match would be entertaining enough filler, but I was impressed with what these two served up. It would have been have been the simplest outcome for this to have been made a squash match, strengthening Wolfys position as an ICW Title contender, but no such thing occurred. Very much an even encounter, and an extremely entertaining one. Wolfgang seemingly had the upper hand numerous times, only for Solar to battle back, although at one point Solar had a decent period of pressure and launched himself towards Wolfy with a cross-body only for Wolfy to catch him and deliver a codebreaker that wid knock the socks clean aff yer feet. I thought that was lights out, but the kid Solar would hear no such chatter, as he kicked out at 2. Wolfgang looked ready to call time on the match as he went up for the Swanton Bomb but he found that there was nae Solars ready to recieve his call as the boy had rolled oot the road. The match was eventually brought to a close by a Texas Cloverleaf as Wolfgang retained, but considering the fact that Wolfy probably outweighed the boy by about 12 stone, it was a fairly evenly matched affair, as displayed by Wolfgang embracing Solar after the match.

Grado vs Andy Wild

Awwww, listen, this match was entertaining right, but I can barely contain my excitement for how it ended. Cause yer boy Grado fuckin HIT an F5. Picture perfect it was tae. It was like a proud parent seeing their wean graduate or something. I was on the verge of tears, theres my boy up there, F5'ing cunts intae next week. Beautiful. Grado wins.

The NAK (w Divers) vs Jack Jester and Jimmy Havoc

I'll no tell ye lies here, most of what went on here went on outside the ring, and I saw fuckin none of that. The match was brutal right enough, I heard the click clackin of a staple gun enough times to know that. I saw an ASDA Smartprice baking tray clatter aff a cunts dome enough to know that an ASDA Smartprice baking tray was in the mix. I saw Jack Jester drag BT Gunn up onto the balcony and I saw Bt Gunn swinging from said balcony before Divers dragged him to safety. I also saw, after The NAK dominating proceedings thanks to Havoc being taken out the game, Havoc coming back from the dead and taking that staple gun to everyone in his way. He eventually isolated BT Gunn, and set a table up, seemingly coating it with thumbtacks, whilst BT Gunn was propped on the ropes, but that meddling wee fud Divers intervened and helped send Havoc through the table. The NAK picked up the win, but that wasnt the end of this saga as Dallas emerged to give us a HUGE announcement.

Firstly he announced that Renfrew will go against Jester for the right to face Sabu at Daves Not Here Man. Thats the minor announcement but, that announcement can get tae fuck (I will say, it fuckin better be Jester or im no gaun), but the main one was that fuckin RHINO! will be at Fear and Loathing at the O2 ABC in October, and will face the winner of a match between Havoc and BT Gunn.

At this point we had an interval and I admired a pretty wee hing wae a Batman dress on, and then the WRASSLIN stertit again.


 First up post interval was the moment we had undoubtedly aw been waiting for, the ICW wrestling debut for The King of Chat, the boy..

 Jackie Polo vs Johnny Moss

A stone cold beezer of a match this was. For all the Polo non believers, i defy you to watch this and not say it wasnt the most impressive 10-12 minutes of pro wrestling you've ever witnessed. I joke, but it was honestly a very decent match, and one which Polo dominated for a fair bit in the middle, having weathered an early storm of Mossys power. It looked to be going the way everyone had expected though, with Mossy seemingly steamrollering to victory, but Sweeneys theme music came on and I dont fuckin know, this whole bit confused me to fuck, but it distracted Mossy and Polo swooped in for the win. I didnae get the finish ataw tbh, but Polo escaped through the crowd and handed my pal the mic as he went, so that was fun. Overall I'd say it was a fun time and I'd recommend it tae a friend.

The Bucky Boys vs Fight Club

I honestly assumed this would just be the usual caper between these two teams. I didnae see how they could shock me, but the boys proved me wrong. Firstly I was greatly amused by the belt which Stevie brought to the ring(having had the real belts robbed by the Summerian Death Squad) which was an actual belt attatched to a frying pan. Secondly, having enjoyed the openeing fast paced exchanges, I was greatly amused by Eddie Sideburns the ref stopping Kid Fite teabagging Davie Boy, only to get the skants doon himself and teabag Davie, making a complete mockery of Earl Hebners guidebook for Wrasslin Wrafereeing. The Buckys got the win thanks to a misunderstanding between Kid Fite and Liam Thomson, which looked like it was going to lead to the end of Fight Club after a wee shoving match in the ring, but the lads departed without knocking each others teeth out, leading us to wonder just when they would inevitably knock each others teeth out.

The Owens Twins vs Nae Cunt, the match didnae happen

Ach Im saddened by what went on here. Yer Owens Twins came oot, lookin ready for some hand to face combat, and then yer Nikki Storm emerges, and us daft bastards assume that she's there to announce her partner for the ensuing tag match, but naw. She announced her tag partner is Joe Coffey and out he comes. Now look, im Joe Coffey daft, but I just didnae get this, because out came Shaun Maxer from the Big Hangovers to save the day and it was announced that we wouldnt infact be seeing a womens tag match, or even a mixed tag, but that Joe Coffey would be taking on Maxer. As much as I respect Coffey, and as much as I enjoyed Maxers work at Get To Da Choppa, the nae weilness got the better of me and I mentally switched off for this one. From what I can recall It was pretty good, but I dont get why it wasnt just advertised as Coffey vs Maxer. I was looking forward to the womens tag match and we didnae get it. Coffey wins.

ICW Title Match
Mikey Whiplash vs Robbie Dynamite

There isnae any way I could do this justice. There really isnae. I will tell you some pertinent details for the future. Those being that Whippy came out with his usual gimmick, and urged Jam and Carmel to the back, only for Jam to emerge halfway through the match. The match itself was just fantastic. Near falls galore in the middle, as two men who looked like they were wrestling a mirror image of each other just went at it. A fucking wonderful wrestling match, and hopefully (although I suspect it will be) not the last between these two at ICW. It ended in amongst a flurry of fantastic wrestling with Whippy rolling Dynamite up for a quick 3 count. The result we all expected, and what followed was probably expected aswell as Whiplash officially dropped the gimmick by "releasing" Carmel (who earlier had a run-in with Kaylee Ray but I cannae mind at what part of the evening that occurred, so I'll put it here eh, basically Kaylee Ray called her out, smashed a can over her heid, but Carmel refused to react, as she was still under Whiplash's command) and chastising Jam asking him why he was out there despite being told not to interfere in the match. Naturally he instructed  Carmel to do him one last favour before being released, and that was to deliver a pointed toe to Jams baws.

That was that. I may have left out numerous details, but thats because i'm hauf cut and so is my attention span. God bless. x